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  1. #1
    6146-B Billy T's Avatar
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    Arrow Monday Laughs: Another Airline Story (PGR)

    AIRLINE PASSENGERS
    A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of the plane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose and then shuddered quite violently for 10 or 15 seconds. The man went back to his reading.

    A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, gently wiped her nose and shuddered quite violently as before. The man was becoming more and more curious about the shuddering.

    A few more minutes passed and the woman sneezed one more time. Again she took a tissue, gently wiped her nose and shuddered violently. The man couldn't restrain his curiosity.

    He turned to the woman and said, "You've sneezed three times, wiped your nose with a tissue, then shuddered violently! Are you all right?"

    "I'm sorry if I disturbed you," the woman replied, "I have a rare condition; when I sneeze, I have an orgasm."

    The man was a little embarrassed but even more curious and said, "I've never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?"

    The woman looked at him and said, "Pepper."
    Some days it's not even worth chewing through my restraints!

  2. #2
    Misc. User of PressF1 somebody's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monday Laughs: Another Airline Story (PGR)

    There's a variation of this, except with a Man suffering from the "condition" circulating the net...

  3. #3
    Old fella smithie 38's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monday Laughs: Another Airline Story (PGR)

    THE STRING AND THE SPOON

    A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a
    difference for an organization.

    Last week, we took some friends out to a new
    restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our
    order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

    It seemed a little strange. When the waiter brought
    our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a
    spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw
    that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
    When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked,
    "Why the spoon?"
    "Well, "he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired
    Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes.
    After several months of analysis, they concluded
    that the spoon was the most frequently dropped
    utensil, it represents a drop frequency of
    approximately 3 spoons per table per hour, so if our
    personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the
    number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15
    man-hours per shift."

    As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was
    able to replace it with his spare.

    "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the
    kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it
    right now."
    I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a
    string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking
    around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same
    string hanging from their flies, so before he walked
    off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you
    tell me why you have that string right there?"

    "Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not
    everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I
    mentioned also found out that we can save time in
    the restroom, by tying this string to the tip of you
    know what, we can pull it out without touching it
    and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening
    the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.

    I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it
    back?"

    "Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the
    others, but I use the spoon."


  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    Default Re: Monday Laughs: Home repairs

    A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway please? It has been flickering for weeks now."

    The husband looks at her and says, "Fix the light? Does it look like I have a GE logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so!"

    The wife then asks, "Well can you fix the fridge door, it won't close properly" to which he replies,

    "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have a Westinghouse logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so!"

    "Fine," she says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the front door? They are about to break."

    The husband says, "I am not a carpenter and I don't fix steps. Does it look like I have Ace Hardware printed on my forehead? I don't think so!

    "I've had enough", he says, "I can't watch the football game in peace, I am off to the pub."

    After a few drinks the husband begins to feel guilty about the way he treated his wife and decides to go home and help out after all.

    As he walks into the house he notices the steps have been fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working and as he goes to get another beer he notices the fridge door has been fixed.

    "Honey", he asks, "How did all this get fixed?"

    She said, "Well, when you left I sat outside and cried. Just then a nice young man came by and asked what was wrong. I told him and he offered to do all the repairs, all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake."

    The husband said, "That was nice. So what kind of cake did you bake him?"

    The wife replied, "Helloooooo! Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead? I don't think so!"


  5. #5
    +1031 from old forum :-)
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    Default Re: Monday Laughs: Home repairs

    Muwhahahaha... nice, thanks everybody

    Billy, I don't think little PGR kids would be able to understand 'orgasm'

    Note: As usual, if you are unsure, do a Google

  6. #6
    cablewinderuperer personthingy's Avatar
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    Talking Re: Monday Laughs: Home repairs

    Quote Originally Posted by ~sy~
    Billy, I don't think little PGR kids would be able to understand 'orgasm'
    I was always of the belief that a sneeze WAS a type of orgasm!?

    Last edited by personthingy; 24-01-2005 at 12:13 PM. Reason: Fewer words, greater meaning!

  7. #7
    Damn furballs! Shortcircuit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monday Laughs: Another Airline Story (PGR)

    dare I say it... for some it is the ONLY orgasm (maybe that's what they mean by 'a roll in the hay'?)
    The best buzz is a short, sharp shock

  8. #8
    6146-B Billy T's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monday Laughs: Home repairs

    Quote Originally Posted by ~sy~
    Billy, I don't think little PGR kids would be able to understand 'orgasm'
    *Cough* Sorry SY, it was sort of a joke within a joke you see.

    Cheers

    Billy 8-{)
    Some days it's not even worth chewing through my restraints!

  9. #9
    Senior Member george12's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monday Laughs: Home repairs

    Quote Originally Posted by personthingy
    I was always of the belief that a sneeze WAS a type of orgasm!?

    Well...... I certainly know which kind I prefer ..... and it's not sneezing

    Additionaly, teaching little kids to Google for orgasm? It doesn't get much more dangerous than that. What if they accidentally had it in Image Mode!?
    ERROR 1045 (28000): Access denied for user 'vbulletin'@'localhost' (using password: YES)

  10. #10
    Theorist Mastermind
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    Default Re: Monday Laughs: Home repairs

    Quote Originally Posted by george12
    Teaching little kids to Google for orgasm? It doesn't get much more dangerous than that. What if they accidentally had it in Image Mode!?
    Says he who provides the direct link...

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