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Thread: paraprosdokians

  1. #1

    Default paraprosdokians

    Winston Churchill loved paraprosdokians, figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected.

    Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
    The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.
    Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
    If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
    War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
    Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
    They begin the evening news with ‘Good Evening,’ then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
    To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
    I thought I wanted a career. Turns out, I just wanted pay cheques.
    In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put “DOCTOR.”
    I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
    Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street…with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
    Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
    A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
    You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
    Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
    There’s a fine line between cuddling and…holding someone down so they can’t get away.
    I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so certain.
    You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
    To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
    Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
    Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
    Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
    I’m supposed to respect my elders, but now it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one.
    It is better to wear out than to rust out.
    - Richard Chamberlain, Tour of the Hebrides

    Us husbands are a sorry lot.

  2. #2
    VoidMaster
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    Default Re: paraprosdokians

    Very good, very funny, Roscoe thanks.
    It's not the least charm of a theory that it is refutable. The hundred-times-refuted theory of "free will" owes its persistence to this charm alone; some one is always appearing who feels himself strong enough to refute it - Friedrich Nietzsche

  3. #3
    Retired old codger kenj's Avatar
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    Default Re: paraprosdokians

    Yes Roscoe, I especially like the last one

    Ken
    Corgi Ben Kenobi.......Related by Corgi to the Queen

  4. #4
    Rocket Dog WalOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: paraprosdokians

    Quote Originally Posted by zqwerty View Post
    Very good, very funny, Roscoe thanks.
    +1
    I have very high hopes that seriousness is a reversible condition.

    Dr Lester Levy


    I've studied deeply in the philosophies and religions, but cheerfulness kept breaking through.

    Leonard Cohen

  5. #5
    Computer "Specialist" Agent_24's Avatar
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    Default Re: paraprosdokians

    Heh.

    There's a few people I'd like to use #4 on.

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