Page 6 of 10 FirstFirst 12345678910 LastLast
Results 51 to 60 of 93
  1. #51
    Wrinkly Member! B.M.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Mount Maunganui
    Posts
    7,521

    Default Re: C'mon..... Joke time

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	Joke1.jpg 
Views:	41 
Size:	35.1 KB 
ID:	10476
    Global Warming is Mann made.
    .
    .
    The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

  2. #52
    Rocket Dog WalOne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Ellerslie
    Posts
    5,253

    Default Re: C'mon..... Joke time

    Paraprosdokian are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected, frequently humour. It is also used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax (Winston Churchill loved them).

    1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

    2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.

    3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

    5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

    6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

    7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

    8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

    9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

    10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop at train stations. On my desk is a work station.

    11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paycheques.

    12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

    13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

    14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. 😊

    15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

    16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

    17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

    18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

    19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

    20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

    21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

    22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

    23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

    24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

    25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

    26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.

    Finally: I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
    I have very high hopes that seriousness is a reversible condition.

    Dr Lester Levy


    I've studied deeply in the philosophies and religions, but cheerfulness kept breaking through.

    Leonard Cohen

  3. #53
    Wrinkly Member! B.M.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Mount Maunganui
    Posts
    7,521

    Default Re: C'mon..... Joke time

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	Joke3.jpg 
Views:	71 
Size:	26.9 KB 
ID:	10480
    Global Warming is Mann made.
    .
    .
    The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

  4. #54
    Rocket Dog WalOne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Ellerslie
    Posts
    5,253

    Default Re: C'mon..... Joke time

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	Ms Piggy and Kermit.JPG 
Views:	46 
Size:	60.4 KB 
ID:	10481

    I have very high hopes that seriousness is a reversible condition.

    Dr Lester Levy


    I've studied deeply in the philosophies and religions, but cheerfulness kept breaking through.

    Leonard Cohen

  5. #55
    Senior Member piroska's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Location
    With Kim-Jong-Mum
    Posts
    2,653

    Default Re: C'mon..... Joke time

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	2238.jpg 
Views:	50 
Size:	60.4 KB 
ID:	10483
    Ex-pctek

  6. #56
    Wrinkly Member! B.M.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Mount Maunganui
    Posts
    7,521

    Default Re: C'mon..... Joke time

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	Joke 4.jpg 
Views:	43 
Size:	47.7 KB 
ID:	10484
    Global Warming is Mann made.
    .
    .
    The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

  7. #57
    Computer Technician wainuitech's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Wellington
    Posts
    27,752

    Default Re: C'mon..... Joke time

    Quote Originally Posted by B.M. View Post
    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	Joke3.jpg 
Views:	71 
Size:	26.9 KB 
ID:	10480
    Thats brilliant -- could actually be true the twit LOL

  8. #58
    Computer Technician wainuitech's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Wellington
    Posts
    27,752

    Default Re: C'mon..... Joke time

    From a Facebook Group (opens in new Page as this site wont play gifs) The First flight after lockdown

    https://www.facebook.com/aashir.bhat...9065796784590/

  9. #59
    Senior Member piroska's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Location
    With Kim-Jong-Mum
    Posts
    2,653

    Default Re: C'mon..... Joke time

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	a49d93886b5a47b978acb4c7b882e74a.jpg 
Views:	43 
Size:	67.3 KB 
ID:	10485
    Ex-pctek

  10. #60
    Retired old codger kenj's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Nhapier
    Posts
    5,402

    Default Re: C'mon..... Joke time

    Very good

    Ken

Similar Threads

  1. Day Off Joke
    By SurferJoe46 in forum PC World Chat
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 05-07-2007, 05:14 PM
  2. Replies: 17
    Last Post: 09-02-2007, 01:21 AM
  3. you're a Joke..
    By pissed in forum PressF1
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 25-11-2005, 08:00 PM
  4. OT : Joke
    By beetle in forum PressF1
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 27-07-2004, 08:03 PM
  5. MS Joke
    By hamstar in forum PressF1
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 16-08-2003, 06:38 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •