C'mon..... Joke time

**wainuitech** · 02-07-2020, 06:24 PM

One that only Guys can really understand: HELP!!

My Wife and I just had an disagreement --- She said- "You Absolutely right, I was wrong" --

Now what the hell Do I Do

**kenj** · 02-07-2020, 06:44 PM

Originally Posted by wainuitech

One that only Guys can really understand: HELP!!

My Wife and I just had an disagreement --- She said- "You Absolutely right, I was wrong" --

Now what the hell Do I Do

Watch out for the low blow!

Ken

**ManUFan** · 03-07-2020, 06:42 AM

Ask for it in writing?

**WalOne** · 03-07-2020, 02:31 PM

Originally Posted by ManUFan

Ask for it in writing?

1) Take notarised copies for posterity
2) Frame the original then hang it in a prominent place where SWMBO may be reminded of it at least daily
3) Bask in self adulation in perpetuity
4) Modestly accept the lifetime award of your Platinum Man Card

**R2x1** · 19-07-2020, 10:35 PM

Beware of Mondays . . . .

**piroska** · 20-07-2020, 10:04 AM

Smart people doing dumb things

A psychotherapist called Dean shared this story of being mildly mortified: "I'm 39-years-old. I have two degrees. I'm a doctor. I'm a member of a Royal College. I have had, unbeknownst to me, a sock up my shirt sleeve all morning." And others chimed in with their own experiences…
1. "I have 2 degrees and a Masters but when I was 41 and my daughter was 3yrs old I attended a high powered meeting with a sticker on the back of my shirt that said 'I'm a good girl'".
2. "I'm 39yrs old. A qualified vet nurse…I once went to buy a sandwich in my break only to pull out a cat testicle with my cash that had fallen in my pocket whilst cleaning post surgery."
3. "I have 2 degrees and was standing at the train station a few years ago when I realised I had forgotten my skirt .... had spilled toothpaste on it - and taken it off to sponge off - got distracted, put coat on, grabbed bag, and forgot to put skirt back on."
4. "I once booked an appointment at a chiropodist/podiatrist because my foot hurt. When I got there, I discovered there was a comb in my shoe. I am bald."
5. I'm thick as mince. No degree…I once drove to a supermarket, walked home, went outside hours later & thought my car had been stolen. Reported it, as so, to the police. Wasn't until a further day I remembered I'd left it at the supermarket."

**piroska** · 20-07-2020, 10:20 AM

And one for Wainiutech:

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**kenj** · 20-07-2020, 11:27 AM

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher’s prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.

The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store.

As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.

After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher: “You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”

The old rancher replied: “Well, I’ll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home this morning”.

Ken