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  1. #11
    Wrinkly Member! B.M.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: C'mon..... Joke time

    Global Warming is Mann made.
    .
    .
    The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

  2. #12
    Computer Technician wainuitech's Avatar
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    Default Re: C'mon..... Joke time

    Quote Originally Posted by B.M. View Post
    Yeah it looked like one of those W T f moments Are they serious , but it was actually more of a problem with further slips, as it says in the Article
    the bank alongside the road was threatening to give way and needed to be secured
    Update / Upgrades = Replace old bugs with new ones.

  3. #13
    Wrinkly Member! B.M.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: C'mon..... Joke time

    Quote Originally Posted by wainuitech View Post
    Yeah it looked like one of those W T f moments Are they serious , but it was actually more of a problem with further slips, as it says in the Article
    Oh, I thought they'd run out of Road Cones.

    Love to know how they secured all these other slips in 5hrs.
    Global Warming is Mann made.
    .
    .
    The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

  4. #14
    Computer Technician wainuitech's Avatar
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    Default Re: C'mon..... Joke time

    Quote Originally Posted by B.M. View Post
    Oh, I thought they'd run out of Road Cones.

    Love to know how they secured all these other slips in 5hrs.
    Actually never thought of that There's way to few cones, it should go back, tapering at least 1/4 KM Back.

    My Neighbour who was caught in it said it took him just over 4 hours to do what would normally be a 30 - 40 minute trip (that time of night).
    Update / Upgrades = Replace old bugs with new ones.

  5. #15
    Senior Member piroska's Avatar
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    Default Re: C'mon..... Joke time

    Ex-pctek

  6. #16
    Awaiting Enlightenment R2x1's Avatar
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    Default Re: C'mon..... Joke time

    Quote Originally Posted by R.M. View Post
    I was in the McDonald’s drive-through this morning and a young lady behind me leaned on her horn because I was taking too long to place my order.
    ‘Take the high road,’ I thought to myself.
    So, when I got to the first window, I paid for her order along with my own.
    The cashier must have told her what I’d done, because as we moved up she leaned out her window and mouthed ‘Thank you.’, obviously embarrassed that I had paid her rudeness with a kindness.
    When I got to the second window, I showed them both receipts and took her food too.
    Now she has to go back to the end of the line and start all over.
    Moral: Don’t honk you horn at old people because with age comes cunning.
    Joke of the week. Worth trying, unless if it means actually consuming McDonald's plastic food substitute.
    Entropy is not what
    it used to be.



  7. #17
    Older by the minute
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    Default Re: C'mon..... Joke time

    Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe.....as it happens, near Transylvania . They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance. Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from a large, old house. He approaches the door and knocks. A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?"
    "I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor; come in, and I will get him!"Bob brings his wife in.
    An older man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist.. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."
    With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely.. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.
    After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.
    The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.
    Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight!
    Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory.
    He bursts in and shouts to his master:
    "Master, Master!....
    The Hills are alive with the sound of music!"

  8. #18
    Seasoned Member allblack's Avatar
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    Default Re: C'mon..... Joke time

    Quote Originally Posted by R2x1 View Post
    consuming McDonald's plastic food substitute.
    1980's....there wasn't a better meal on the planet to sort out the 3am munchies after a night of drinking and clubbing.

  9. #19
    Senior Member piroska's Avatar
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    Default Re: C'mon..... Joke time

    Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital.
    After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
    On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

    ‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.’






    A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
    ‘So I hear you’re getting married?’
    ‘Yep!’
    ‘Do I know her?’
    ‘Nope!’
    ‘This woman, is she good looking?’
    ‘Not really.’
    ‘Is she a good cook?’
    ‘Naw, she can’t cook too well.’
    ‘Does she have lots of money?’
    ‘Nope! Poor as a church mouse.’
    ‘Well, then, is she good in bed?’
    ‘I don’t know.’
    ‘Why in the world do you want to marry her then?’

    ‘Because she can still drive!’
    Ex-pctek

  10. #20
    Awaiting Enlightenment R2x1's Avatar
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    Default Re: C'mon..... Joke time

    Quote Originally Posted by allblack View Post
    1980's....there wasn't a better meal on the planet to sort out the 3am munchies after a night of drinking and clubbing.
    Well, that definitely shows you had drunk far too much to walk let alone drive.
    Entropy is not what
    it used to be.



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