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  1. #1
    Retired old codger kenj's Avatar
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    Default Old age is a bummer

    Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..

    Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

    'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
    'Sure.'
    'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
    'No, I can remember it.'
    'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'
    He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
    'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
    Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'

    Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.

    'Where's my toast?'


    An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
    The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly'
    The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
    The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What’s the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that's red and has thorns.'
    'Do you mean a rose?'
    'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'


    Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he d idn't need my help to leave the hospital.
    After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator
    On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
    'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'




    A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
    'So I hear you're getting married?'
    'Yep!'
    'Do I know her?'
    'Nope!'
    'This woman, is she good looking?'
    'Not really.'
    'Is she a good cook?'
    'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
    'Does she have lots of money?'
    'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
    'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
    'I don't know.'
    'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
    'Because she can still drive!'


    A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
    'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
    'Twelve thirty.'


    Morris , an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
    Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
    The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

    One more. . .!
    A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
    The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
    'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
    Corgi Ben Kenobi.......Related by Corgi to the Queen

  2. #2
    Old guy
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    Default Re: Old age is a bummer

    Good ones Ken

  3. #3
    Senior Member piroska's Avatar
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    Default Re: Old age is a bummer

    Actually, my mum has a hearing issue. Not too bad, but definitely half deaf.

    Husband is very deaf.

    All the time they have these conversations, it's so bizarre, both talking and neither has the slightest idea what the other is saying.

    I come in sometimes and it's like a comedy show...both oblivious....
    Ex-pctek

  4. #4
    Off Limits...... beetle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Old age is a bummer

    Quote Originally Posted by piroska View Post
    Actually, my mum has a hearing issue. Not too bad, but definitely half deaf.

    Husband is very deaf.

    All the time they have these conversations, it's so bizarre, both talking and neither has the slightest idea what the other is saying.

    I come in sometimes and it's like a comedy show...both oblivious....
    My new hearing aids are like that, 5 years since I got my last ones and these new ones suck......... some days i feel i hear better with none in my ears :O
    I got these new ones a couple of days before christmas........... life since then has been so much more frustrating
    Im not trying to be difficult it just comes naturally.

  5. #5
    Senior Member piroska's Avatar
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    Default Re: Old age is a bummer

    What new hearing aids?
    How did you get them? Via the hospital?
    Why did they get chnaged? Can't you use the old ones?
    Ex-pctek

  6. #6
    Senior Member 1101's Avatar
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    Default Re: Old age is a bummer

    My knees and shoulders are on the way old. A weekends afternoons cleaning up the section & Im feeling tweeks in the knees all week.
    I can see future issues when I get into the 60's
    Getting older sucks :-(

  7. #7
    Soaring like an Eagle gary67's Avatar
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    Default Re: Old age is a bummer

    Waiting for an xray later today, took a tumble at social netball last night not very hard either but being older I didn't bounce like I used to.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Old age is a bummer

    Quote Originally Posted by piroska View Post
    What new hearing aids?
    How did you get them? Via the hospital?
    Why did they get chnaged? Can't you use the old ones?
    Nosy much?

  9. #9
    Old guy
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    Default Re: Old age is a bummer

    The comments on this post sure driffed from comedy to personal problems in a hurry. A sign of old age?

  10. #10
    Seasoned Member allblack's Avatar
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    Default Re: Old age is a bummer

    Quote Originally Posted by toyota View Post
    Nosy much?
    You been here for 20 seconds - don't start smart-arsing the long-termers.

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