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Thread: Sunday Laughs.

  1. #1
    Older by the minute
    Join Date
    Dec 2004

    Default Sunday Laughs.

    Couldn't wait 'til Monday.

    A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.

    A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

    The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

    He replied, "They had avocados."

    If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again! Men will get it the first time.

    Water in the carburettor

    WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor."

    HUSBAND: "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous "

    WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburettor."

    HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?

    WIFE: "In the pool"


    Husband and wife had a tiff. Wife called up her mom and said, "He fought with me again, I am coming to live with you."

    Mom said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you.

    Today's Short Reading from the Bible...

    From Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth."

    Then He made the earth round...and He laughed and laughed and laughed!....

  2. #2
    Old fella smithie 38's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004

    Default Re: Sunday Laughs.


    (Actual writings from hospital charts)

    1 . The patient refused autopsy.

    2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

    3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

    4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

    5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

    6 On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared

    7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

    8 The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

    9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

    10. Healthy appearing decrepit 66-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

    11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

    12. She is numb from her toes down.

    13. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

    14. The skin was moist and dry.

    15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches

    16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

    17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

    18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

    19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

    20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

    21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

    22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

    23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

    24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

    25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

  3. #3
    Senior Member piroska's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    With Kim-Jong-Mum

    Default Re: Sunday Laughs.

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