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  1. #51
    Wrinkly Member! B.M.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: (Between) Mondays jokes...

    Some will relate to this.

    GOD'S AWESOME PLAN FOR AGEING

    Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

    Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose co-ordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach, and stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

    Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.

    So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it's God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.
    Global Warming is Mann made.

    Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.
    .
    The problems we face today are because the people who work for a living are now outnumbered by those who vote for a living.

  2. #52
    Seasoned Member allblack's Avatar
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    Default Re: (Between) Mondays jokes...

    Quote Originally Posted by R2x1 View Post
    A man walked into the Doctors, and the doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time'

    The man replied, 'I know, I've been ill'
    That works on many levels for me.
    Not sure mine knows what to do when I turn up so I stay at home until I've died.

  3. #53
    amateur expert dugimodo's Avatar
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    Default Re: (Between) Mondays jokes...

    Quote Originally Posted by piroska View Post
    NASCAR was going to hold their first Nissan Leaf Division 500 race last week but called it off when they found out that pit stops would take 8 hours to complete and the race would be 5 days long.


    The electric car has an airbag, but you have to plug it in.

    What's the difference between a golf ball and an electric car?
    You can drive a golf ball at least 200 yards.
    As a leaf owner now it's my turn to say not funny. I appreciate the effort and realise jokes use exaggeration to make a point, but those just miss the mark.

    A leaf takes 30 mins on a fast charger, not 8 hours.
    There is an electric race series and it's easily as good as Nascar https://www.fiaformulae.com/

    The airbags work just fine and are factory fitted same as any other car.

    A new leaf will do 250km+, a worn down second hand one with a smaller battery like mine is good for about 90km, even so the golf joke was actually not bad.

    I'd add a joke to this but sorry can't think of anything.
    Last edited by dugimodo; 19-09-2019 at 01:25 PM.
    Ryzen 2700X, 16Gb DDR4RAM, 512GB M.2 NVME SSD, MSI GTX1070

  4. #54
    Superanuitant Poppa John's Avatar
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    Default Re: (Between) Mondays jokes...

    Quote Originally Posted by dugimodo View Post
    As a leaf owner now it's my turn to say not funny. I appreciate the effort and realise jokes use exaggeration to make a point, but those just miss the mark.

    A leaf takes 30 mins on a fast charger, not 8 hours.
    There is an electric race series and it's easily as good as Nascar https://www.fiaformulae.com/

    The airbags work just fine and are factory fitted same as any other car.

    A new leaf will do 250km+, a worn down second hand one with a smaller battery like mine is good for about 90km, even so the golf joke was actually not bad.

    I'd add a joke to this but sorry can't think of anything.
    Just out of curiosity....how much is a new battery set? Have you thought about getting one? pj
    Deafness.
    When I was younger I heard but didn't listen.
    Now I am older, I listen but cannot hear.

    If it is not broke, don't make it broker by trying to make it better. (This applies specifically to PJ)

  5. #55
    Senior Member piroska's Avatar
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    Default Re: (Between) Mondays jokes...

    https://www.noted.co.nz/tech/tech-te...ding-too-early

    More than 3 times what I paid for an entire cars.............until recently.
    Ex-pctek

  6. #56
    VoidMaster
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    Default Re: (Between) Mondays jokes...

    Look how long your battery in your laptop/cell phone lasts with everyday use, starting to fail almost from first use, the car batts are going to fail even faster.

    Super expensive to replace and highly polluting.

    Wait for the flame-outs when there are some high speed crashes, very nasty and very, very hard to put the high temperature flames out.
    Last edited by zqwerty; 19-09-2019 at 05:37 PM.
    It's not the least charm of a theory that it is refutable. The hundred-times-refuted theory of "free will" owes its persistence to this charm alone; some one is always appearing who feels himself strong enough to refute it - Friedrich Nietzsche

  7. #57
    amateur expert dugimodo's Avatar
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    Default Re: (Between) Mondays jokes...

    Quote Originally Posted by Poppa John View Post
    Just out of curiosity....how much is a new battery set? Have you thought about getting one? pj
    More than the car is worth, if you could find anyone who can actually do it. Also Nissan have never sold a battery in NZ as far as I know. They also make it impossible to upgrade the 24kwh model with the larger 40kwh battery.
    Long term it's a gamble, if there's enough market the hope is some third party will make an affordable replacement because Nissan don't seem particularly interested.

    Otherwise once the range drops below what's useful it's just scrap. There is a market for degraded batteries to be reused for solar etc though and I've seen 50% capacity cells selling for $100 each - the car has 48 of them.
    Who knows how well that market will hold up though. The car will probably be more valuable as parts than it would be worth to keep on the road.

    As for the issue in the Listener article, old news that has been resolved (probably) with a software update. Nissan says the battery management system was misreporting the battery health.

    And no it won't degrade faster than a cell phone, my car is already 6 years old and still has 81% capacity. There are plenty of them used as Taxis in the US that have reached over 100, 000 miles on the original battery.

    I did a lot of research and I still don't know if buying one was a good Idea or not. But I can tell you averaging 500-600 km a month so far has added maybe $30 to my power bill and it's a nice car to drive round town.

    Pros.
    Cheap to run
    relatively affordable (compared to a second hand corolla the same age/condition it's pretty close)
    surprisingly fun to drive
    never need to visit a gas station again

    Cons
    Limited range
    The need to plan ahead for every long trip and detour to where the chargers are
    Really stupid load space design (boot is a foot lower than the folded down seats)
    poor resale value - people know the battery will need replacing at some point and the older it gets....

    I can't recommend one as an only car, but as a second car for commuting around town they are pretty decent
    Ryzen 2700X, 16Gb DDR4RAM, 512GB M.2 NVME SSD, MSI GTX1070

  8. #58

    Default Re: (Between) Mondays jokes...

    She: You don't buy me flowers.

    He: To be honest, I didn't know you sold flowers.
    It is better to wear out than to rust out.
    - Richard Chamberlain, Tour of the Hebrides

    Us husbands are a sorry lot.

  9. #59
    Senior Member piroska's Avatar
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    Default Re: (Between) Mondays jokes...

    LOL, like that one
    Ex-pctek

  10. #60
    Senior Member piroska's Avatar
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    Default Re: (Between) Mondays jokes...

    There's a pop-up channel on, and Monty Python is running.....



    'WE WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE WAY IN WHICH POLITICIANS ARE REPRESENTED IN THIS PROGRAMME. IT WAS NEVER OUR INTENTION TO IMPLY THAT POLITICIANS ARE WEAK-KNEED, POLITICAL TIME-SERVERS WHO ARE CONCERNED MORE WITH THEIR PERSONAL VENDETTAS AND PRIVATE POWER STRUGGLES THAN THE PROBLEMS OF GOVERNMENT, NOR TO SUGGEST AT ANY POINT THAT THEY SACRIFICE THEIR CREDIBILITY BY DENYING FREE DEBATE ON VITAL MATTERS IN THE MISTAKEN IMPRESSION THAT PARTY UNITY COMES BEFORE THE WELL-BEING OF THE PEOPLE THEY SUPPOSEDLY REPRESENT NOR TO IMPLY AT ANY STAGE THAT THEY ARE SQUABBLING LITTLE TOADIES WITHOUT AN OUNCE OF CONCERN FOR THE VITAL SOCIAL PROBLEMS OF TODAY. NOR INDEED DO WE INTEND THAT VIEWERS SHOULD CONSIDER THEM AS CRABBY ULCEROUS LITTLE SELF-SEEKING VERMIN WITH FURRY LEGS AND AN EXCESSIVE ADDICTION TO ALCOHOL AND CERTAIN EXPLICIT SEXUAL PRACTICES WHICH SOME PEOPLE MIGHT FIND OFFENSIVE."
    Ex-pctek

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