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  1. #11
    Smiling Down On Youse SurferJoe46's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    These people speak a strange language - but it's funny just reading their lips..........

    https://youtu.be/-_kXIGvB1uU


    May your screen door of life not swing in the winds of bad choices


    I have no idea what that means - I just think it sounds erudite, that's all.


  2. #12
    Soaring like an Eagle gary67's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    We have one of those

  3. #13
    Smiling Down On Youse SurferJoe46's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    My magic table has been broken for a long time now. I wonder if the batteries are dead?

    Do they take AA, 9V or Cs?


    May your screen door of life not swing in the winds of bad choices


    I have no idea what that means - I just think it sounds erudite, that's all.


  4. #14
    Soaring like an Eagle gary67's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    Lead acid I think, as you cannot buy those coffee tables any more so must be still using old school batteries.

  5. #15
    Smiling Down On Youse SurferJoe46's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    I have a fully charged Leyden Jar. How about that?


    May your screen door of life not swing in the winds of bad choices


    I have no idea what that means - I just think it sounds erudite, that's all.


  6. #16
    Soaring like an Eagle gary67's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    That might do it, however you might also need perpetual motion as created by Neddy Seagoon.

  7. #17
    Smiling Down On Youse SurferJoe46's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    Nah. I've got cold fusion.

  8. #18
    Awaiting Enlightenment R2x1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    Quote Originally Posted by gary67 View Post
    Lead acid I think, as you cannot buy those coffee tables any more so must be still using old school batteries.
    OSH will ping you (heavily) if you use lead, and acid is right off the most-favoured list. Battery has become a pariah name now, so you have to use the "Rain water, re-cycled wood, cluster of free-range amp providers". It has a pathetic output, short shelf life, enormous bulk, and costs the earth BUT, it comes in an orange box, is approved, contains no added mercury, and has paperwork in astronomical quantities.
    Tree huggers unite, this battery substitute is kind to the environment and is guaranteed to not be capable of electrocuting kittens or fur seals. The old size naming convention is gone and the new packs are rated in acre-fathoms, (Pascals per fortnight for metric fans) An approximate equivalent to the highly dangerous AA cell is now 1 Km x 1 Km x 528 M high, and has a shelf life of 1.7 metric days, but it is most highly approved.
    Last edited by R2x1; 12-02-2019 at 08:45 AM. Reason: Added mercury
    Entropy is not what
    it used to be.



  9. #19
    Rocket Dog WalOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    Son visits his 90 year old father in a rest home after a month of residency.

    "So dad....how do you like the place?"

    Father says..."its great! Every night before bed i get a mug of hot chocolate and a viagra".....

    The son, very concerned talks to the head nurse. " My father is 90 years old and you are giving him viagra in his chocolate before bedtime? What is wrong with you people?"

    The nurse responds... "The hot chocolate is to get him off to sleep.....and the viagra is to stop him rolling out of bed..."

    I have very high hopes that seriousness is a reversible condition.

    Dr Lester Levy


    I've studied deeply in the philosophies and religions, but cheerfulness kept breaking through.

    Leonard Cohen

  10. #20
    curmudgeon
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    Default Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    A thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He tied up the woman and at knife-point asked the man to hand over the jewelry and money. The man started sobbing and said, “You can take anything you want. You can kill me also. But please untie the rope and free her.”

    Thief: “You must really love your wife!”

    Man: “No, but she will be home shortly”.

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