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  1. #1
    Senior Member Digby's Avatar
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    Default Monday Laughs Mar 26

    Here is the final of my series on "What they really mean"

    Design Simplicity - it was developed on a shoestring budget

    Interactive - when you press a key something happens

    Direct Sales only - No retail chain in their right mind would touch it
    So what colour is your Adkaf?
    Have you joined Proud to Be Kiwi yet?

  2. #2
    Member Marnie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monday Laughs Mar 26

    Smith climbed to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.
    Looking up, he asked the Lord.. "God, what does a million years mean to you?"
    The Lord replied, "A minute."
    Smith asked, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"
    The Lord replied, "A penny."
    Smith asked, "Can I have a penny?"
    The Lord replied, "In a minute."

  3. #3
    Old fella smithie 38's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monday Laughs Mar 26

    Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me AGAIN, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.

    "Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?" I asked.

    Talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation.

    She was "only thinking of me," she said, and suggested that I go down to the Senior Centre and hang out with the fellows.

    I did this and when I got home last night, I decided to play a prank on her. I e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a Parachute Club.

    She replied, "Are you nuts? You are 84-years-old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"

    I told her that I even got a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.

    She immediately telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses?! This is a Membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."

    "Oh man, I'm in trouble again," I said. "I really don't know what to do. I signed up for five jumps a week!!"

    The line went dead.

    Life as a Senior Citizen is not getting any easier, but sometimes it can be fun.

  4. #4
    curmudgeon
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    Dec 2004
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    430

    Default Re: Monday Laughs Mar 26

    Young Jewish couple are having their first baby, after the birth the Doctor comes to them and says, “you have a healthy baby boy, but I’m afraid he’s been born without eyelids.”

    “What can we do,” moaned the father, “He can’t go through life like that?”

    “Don’t worry,” said the Doctor, “When we perform the ‘Brit milah’ I’ll get my friend who’s a brilliant plastic surgeon to graft the foreskin in place and you won’t know the difference.”

    “Won’t that make him a little cock eyed,” exclaimed the father.

    “No, but he may have some foresight,” said the Doctor.

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