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  1. #1
    Smiling Down On Youse SurferJoe46's Avatar
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    Exclamation Glug - Glug - Glug..................

    I call this: "An Outstanding Misuse Of The Laws Of Physics & Thermodynamics"



    I was fishing at Perris Lake in California toward the twilight part of the day, still casting for the last trout while I stood on one of the piers that were out about sixty feet into the lake.

    This was the time that a coolness capped a day that had been over 100ºF just an hour or two before.

    The last boat with four guys in it was coming off the lake and a really nice semi-restored antique 1940 or so Ford pickup truck was backing a boat trailer into the lake - carefully backing down the concrete launch ramp until the rear wheels of the truck were just getting wet.

    As the outboard boat maneuvered around to get in between the bunkers of the trailer, the engine of the truck stalled, and the driver was trying to restart it.

    By now the boat was safely into the ways of the trailer and the driver of the boat was waiting for one of the other guys to hook the winch into the front eye under the deck. Once it was hooked on, he shut the outboard down and electrically tilted it up out of the way as he waited for the tow vehicle to get started and pull him and the boat out of the launch ramp.

    By now, the hood of the truck was open and the other four guys were now hovering around like wharf rats trying to figure out what was wrong with it.

    "I bet it's the coil; I had one die on my car last week" said one of the rats.

    "Nah. It's a bad ignition switch" said another rat.

    "I think it's out of gas" said one of the rats who had much more insight to the problem than his squinty eyes would indicate.

    He was pretty close to the smartest of them all at this point, as one of them pulled on the throttle shaft and said that no gas was squirting down the carburetor.

    "Yup, it's out of gas alright!" said Squinty Rat.

    By now the guy in the boat - Rat #1 - was saying that these old Ford trucks had a very weak fuel pump and at this angle (the launch ramp) the fuel in the tank won't make it up to the engine. He was right - but this isn't where the story actually starts - and ends.

    Rat #5 - the truck driver - stayed in the driver's seat, holding the truck from going further backward - as the parking brake wasn't working either. That wouldn't be a problem, except for the fact that with the engine stalled, now his right leg was getting tired from holding the non-powered brakes on the truck.

    Rat #2 was talking now: "Well, let's get some gas and prime the carb to get it started and up out of the launch ramp. Get me a tin can and put some gas in it and I'll dribble it into the carb so the truck can drive up the ramp. I'll be the carburetor!" Truer words were never spoken.

    Rats #3 & 4 scurried away and were searching the beach for a can of some sort when they found a plastic Pepsi bottle and they cut the top off it to make a cup for the gasoline.

    Rat #1 - remember him? He was the boat driver........

    Anyway, he gets some gas out of the premix in the fuel tank for the outboard motor and fills the plastic cup, and Rat #2 opens the hood of the truck, flings himself across the front fender and is lying over the engine and starts dribbling it into the carb.

    At this point, the Driver Rat #5 in the truck hits the starter and the engine fires briefly.

    "Crank her up again" said Rat #2 and Rats #3 & 4 move in closer to get a better look.

    The engine lurches, and the truck jumps forward, Rat #2, under the hood, spills some of the cup of gas all over the engine and it catches fire.

    At this point, he throws the flaming cup of gas out from under the engine compartment as the hood slams down on his legs and outstretched arm just as he throws the flaming cup of gasoline......

    .....all over rat #3 ---- or Rat #4 -- as it gets kinda confusing here.......... and that Rat #3 or #4 runs screaming off the end of the pier and jumps into the deep water.

    In the mean time, the left over Rat jumps head first off the pier into about 1 foot of water, driving his head up between his shoulders and he just flops over, looking pretty much dead at this point.

    Rat #5 - the guy in the truck, jumps out to help his buddies and lets go of any idea of driving the truck out of the launch ramp.... and instead starts rendering aid to the guy who pile-drove his head into his chest, pulling the still flaming body out of the water and starts giving him CPR.

    Rat #2 pushes up the hood, as he gets out and passes out from pain on the pier.

    Rat #1 now dives into the water to save either Rat #3 or #4 - because one of them can't swim but he's not sure which one that is.

    The truck - now without a driver's foot holding the boat, the trailer and the truck, rolls slowly back into the lake.

    As the trailer starts going really deeper into the water, the winch cable that is holding the boat, pulls the boat bow-down into the lake - and by this time the driver's seat is getting wet.

    The boat is now standing straight up and down like a giant bobber on a fishing line and the radio antenna of the pickup truck disappears under the water, the flames finally doused.

    The last gasp is when the boat, now being pulled under water, deeper and deeper, finally flips over and gets drawn totally into the water by the weight of the trailer plus the truck and it gives off one last giant burp of air as it too disappears.

    The park ranger finally shows up and takes it all in with one look. He was on the radio calling for paramedics and an ambulance as he runs over to the guy with the now flattened head....... either Rat #3 or Rat #4 ....... and takes over with CPR.

    At this time he had no idea that there also was a boat, a trailer and a truck still attached to each other, under water below his dock.

    Me? I had to write this out three times for the authorities - this sequence of events just as I have told them to you.

    I have it pretty much committed to memory for having written it so many times.


    Warum werden wir so früh alt und klug so spät?

  2. #2
    Apple free in Appleby KarameaDave's Avatar
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    Default Re: Glug - Glug - Glug..................

    So how does it feel to have a President-elect that was put in via Putin and the Rooskies?
    Can't imagine that will go down well with your average country-mate.
    Commies!!
    FTW

  3. #3
    Rocket Dog WalOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Glug - Glug - Glug..................

    So, Joe ... why for did you leave pristine Montana to visit one of the most polluted spots in the continental USA? There's far better fishing spots around than in Riverside Co. And without smog, the amount of which is only surpassed in Beijing.

    I can only surmise you must have been on a stop over en route to Hollywood to apply for a job as a script writer ...

    Last edited by WalOne; 07-01-2017 at 08:45 PM.
    I have very high hopes that seriousness is a reversible condition.

    Dr Lester Levy


    I've studied deeply in the philosophies and religions, but cheerfulness kept breaking through.

    Leonard Cohen

  4. #4
    amateur expert dugimodo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Glug - Glug - Glug..................

    That reads like a scene from a comedy movie, hard to believe such things happen in real life.
    Ryzen 2700X, 16Gb DDR4RAM, 512GB M.2 NVME SSD, MSI GTX1070

  5. #5
    Smiling Down On Youse SurferJoe46's Avatar
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    Default Re: Glug - Glug - Glug..................

    Nah.

    This wasn't recent history and the tip off was that no electronic devices were harmed in the process.

    It was about twelve years ago.... maybe more, but that's just the way it goes as we age: we reflect on things that aren't current.


    I'm getting my right knee replaced on the 17th, and last night I had a dream about it..........

    I was walking through the produce aisle in a local supermarket when my surgeon spotted me and decided to replace the knee right then and there on the floor. I protested that I hadn't yet taken my three prescribed showers with the special antibacterial soap and sponges they provided me, and he said it was OK and that he'd be really careful to not let any germs into the knee.

    I woke up as he was cutting into my leg.

    Toward the end of the day, my neck muscles are so-o-oo tired. .......from holding up my giant brain.

  6. #6
    Retired old codger kenj's Avatar
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    Default Re: Glug - Glug - Glug..................

    Accidents do happen Joe

    I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number three of the accident reporting form, I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more and I trust that the following details are sufficient:

    I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working along on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of bricks left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

    Securing the rope at the ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh 135 pounds.

    Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.

    In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains the fractured scull and broken collarbone.

    Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

    Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain.

    At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground - and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately 50 pounds.

    I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.

    In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and lacerations of my legs and lower body.

    The encounter with the barrel, slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.
    I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks in pain, unable to move, and watching the barrel six stories above - I again lost my presence of mind.

    I let go of the rope!

    Ken
    Corgi Ben Kenobi.......Related by Corgi to the Queen

  7. #7
    Senior Member pctek's Avatar
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    Default Re: Glug - Glug - Glug..................

    Sounds just like this story: http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/8809...r-in-Whangarei


    Isn't it mid-winter over there? Who goes fishing in the middle of winter?
    wipe your paws.

  8. #8
    Rocket Dog WalOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Glug - Glug - Glug..................

    Quote Originally Posted by pctek View Post
    Sounds just like this story: http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/8809...r-in-Whangarei


    Isn't it mid-winter over there? Who goes fishing in the middle of winter?
    Ever heard of Eskimos fishing through a hole in the ice? But Joe did say it was "12 years ago". Also, Lake Perry is in Riverside County in the vilest part of the LA basin (smog wise) where the average temps don't get much below 20 Celsius.

    I have very high hopes that seriousness is a reversible condition.

    Dr Lester Levy


    I've studied deeply in the philosophies and religions, but cheerfulness kept breaking through.

    Leonard Cohen

  9. #9
    Rocket Dog WalOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Glug - Glug - Glug..................

    Quote Originally Posted by WalOne View Post
    Also, Lake Perry is in Riverside County
    Typo, I meant Lake Perris
    I have very high hopes that seriousness is a reversible condition.

    Dr Lester Levy


    I've studied deeply in the philosophies and religions, but cheerfulness kept breaking through.

    Leonard Cohen

  10. #10
    Smiling Down On Youse SurferJoe46's Avatar
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    Default Re: Glug - Glug - Glug..................

    Quote Originally Posted by WalOne View Post
    Ever heard of Eskimos fishing through a hole in the ice? But Joe did say it was "12 years ago". Also, Lake Perry is in Riverside County in the vilest part of the LA basin (smog wise) where the average temps don't get much below 20 Celsius.

    Riverside County - which is really REALLY BIG - is truly the toilet bowl of Southern California - for smog and crime.

    Almost all the cities in it were shining in the sun just a couple of decades ago, but the barrio rodents found that they could live in the "951" (an area code for phones) and shoot up the streets of LA in a short commute.

    It would be like they really hadn't moved out of LA as their killing and robbing could go on pretty much as originally done, only their families would be out of range for the Deep LA Gangs. These make the Crips and Bloods look like a Boy Scout group.

    That was all well and good until the Deep Gangs got wind of the places to live in Riverside County for themselves.

    We saw the writing on the wall, and even though we moved into the mountains ABOVE the higher crime ridden areas, they were getting up near to us too.

    IN the mornings - if one got up early enough and drove to 'Town" in Anza, one MIGHT see an interesting sight.

    Just a couple of those mornings I saw some dead bodies lined up down the center line of the highway, minus their heads which were placed neatly on their chests. Neck-to-toes, they were being removed by unmarked cop cars and a helicopter to make sure that the local citizenry never knew about it.

    The baddest part was that these headless persons had been cookers and meth-lab workers who had been beheaded by the Mexican Drug Cartels who sent 'enforcers' up to Anza to kill their competition.

    Sadly - the local gendarmes were powerless to go onto the Indian Reservations where these cookers lived under the auspices of a sovereign nation (The Indian nations are sovereign in the US) and the police and federal agencies require 'permission to enter' into the nations to enforce the US Laws in the first place.

    The tribes make good money by protecting the drug cookers and the drug cookers make good money by selling to their dealers - and everybody gets fat!

    Getting permission to enter the Indian Nations is a long process, wrought with Indian Councils that need celestial inspiration by their chiefs and elders to even consider letting a white men onto their land - let alone Federal Agents and Agencies.

    Having also lived in Hemet and San Jacinto - where gangs in fours and sixes walk the streets looking for a crime of the moment.

    The "Mall" is no longer a place of air conditioned comfort for the older people to "Walk The Mall" for exercise in the coolness of it any more.

    "Bump and Rob" auto 'accidents' happen where the old people are involved in a rear-ender accident - gets out to exchange pleasantries and licenses and insurance papers and another guy jumps into the driver's seat and steals the old guys car.

    They busted hookers working a Chucky Cheese in Hemet - that's a pizza parlor for kids with video games, "Whack-A-Mole" games and Skeeball and other various under-twelve-year-old-kid-type amusements.

    "Somebody" owns a 50 caliber belt-fed machine gun who drives down Florida Street and shoots out the store fronts once a year or so.

    It's totally out of control. What's right is wrong; what's wrong is right.

    I 'bet' that Trump 'spanks' California for it's declaration of itself as an amnesty state for illegal aliens* and now having served the US Attorney General with papers of Secession (see footnote).

    * youse guys - if you ever get to California - can apply for and receive a legal California Driver's License to be used for credit, loans and buying properties and getting a California Tax refund even IF you didn't file a California Tax Report!

    Youse too, can be an illegal alien in a Californium!

    Free money to youse guys! I think you can do it over the internet too!

    That'll go over real big in Trumpland!

    He already said he'd withhold Federal Matching Funds from California for what they've done so far against him and his presidency. We'll see.

    'Federal Matching Funds' are monies that come from The US Federal Reserve to assist states in road repairs, bridges and other infrastructural buildings and repair of same.

    footnote: http://reason.com/archives/2013/09/1...t-is-brewing-i

    ..... and another note:
    The Yes California Independence Campaign, which assembled long before Election Day 2016, is taking meetings in Russia to establish a California embassy.

    Louis Marinelli, president of Yes California, left for Russia two months ago to join forces with the Antiglobalization Movement of Russia. The grassroots campaign shares Marinelli’s belief that a state has a right to self-determination, he claims.

    His plans include a resource center that will educate Russian locals on Californian history and culture, foster trade relations, and encourage tourism. Marinelli clarified that the embassy will not conduct diplomatic affairs, but rather, serve as a promotional front for Yes California.
    Finally: (for right now anyway) http://www.yescalifornia.org/how_cal...from_the_union





    .


    Warum werden wir so früh alt und klug so spät?

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