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A mother took her five-year-old son with her to the Bank on a busy lunchtime.

In the Tellers' queue they stood behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit complete with pager.

After waiting patiently for a few minutes, the little boy said loudly, "Wow, She's fat!”

The mother bent down and whispered in the little boy's ear to be quiet.

A couple more minutes passed by, then the little boy stretched his arms out as far as they would go and announced; "I'll bet her bum is this wide!"

The fat woman turned around and glared at the little boy.

The mother gave him a good telling off, and again told him to be quiet.

After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the queue, and just then her pager began to emit a "beep, beep, beep."

The little boy yelled out, "run for your life, she's backing out!!"

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I have questions!

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one, or maybe even tenty-one?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that one out of five actually enjoys it?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

If it's true that we were put on this Earth to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? If not, I want to know why!

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'

What hair colour do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? (I have wondered this for years!!!)

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

Why does the US put up pictures of criminals up in their Post Offices?? What are people supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

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Did you ever wonder why earrings became so popular with men?

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing a rather feminine earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow and is curious about his sudden change in 'fashion sense', so he walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in my car."

(I always wondered how this trend got started!)

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Paddy goes to America for the first time, and one day he's walking up 5th Avenue.

He sees a building on fire and rushes over to see people stuck at the 4th floor windows.

He shouts up, “Oi'm Paddy-John Dara O'Neill, the Oirish rugby player! Jump and Oi'll catch yez”.

A girl jumps out and Paddy catches her, a guy jumps and Paddy gets him too. Then a black guy jumps and Paddy just stands back and lets him hit the concrete, then he shouts up, “Come on now folks, there's no point in throwin down t' burnt ones!!



Have a Great Day!!!!

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain!


Cheers

Billy 8-{)