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  1. #1
    Senior Member Trev's Avatar
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    Default Why Teachers Drink

    Q. Name the four seasons
    A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

    Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
    A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

    Q. How is dew formed
    A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

    Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
    A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

    Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
    A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

    Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
    A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

    Q. What are steroids
    A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

    Q.. What happens to your body as you age
    A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

    Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
    A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

    Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
    A. Premature death

    Q. What is artificial insemination
    A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

    Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
    A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

    Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
    A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U..

    Q. What is the fibula?
    A. A small lie

    Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
    A. Nearby

    Q. What is the most common form of birth control
    A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

    Q... Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
    A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

    Q. What is a seizure?
    A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

    Q. What is a terminal illness
    A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

    Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
    A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

    Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
    A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

    Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
    A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

    Q. What is a turbine?
    A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

    Intel i5-2500K 3.3GHz Quad Core, Asus P8Z 68-V LE MB, GTX 560 TI 1GB DDR5 graphics card, Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit, 8gb Corsair Vengeance DDR3 ram , Viewsonic VX2233WM LCD 1080P HD Monitor. Seagate Barracuda 1 TB 64MB Sata3 HD

  2. #2
    Senior Member Gobe1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Teachers Drink

    haha seen them before but are good ones
    Multiplayer games are the Shizz "Theres nothing like killing your mates!" Me

  3. #3
    Rocket Dog WalOne's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Re: Why Teachers Drink

    Good stuff
    I have very high hopes that seriousness is a reversible condition.

    Dr Lester Levy


    I've studied deeply in the philosophies and religions, but cheerfulness kept breaking through.

    Leonard Cohen

  4. #4
    Senior Member 1101's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Teachers Drink

    ahh, all just too smart

    Q. What causes the tides in the oceans

    even teachers, 'scientists' & reference books dont get this one 100% right
    hint, there are 2 reasons, whats the 2nd one ??

    -also we have actually have 2 moons ,although the 2nd moon is really small. But should specify which moon is one reason for the tides.

  5. #5
    IT Consultant johcar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Teachers Drink

    Quote Originally Posted by 1101 View Post
    ahh, all just too smart

    Q. What causes the tides in the oceans

    even teachers, 'scientists' & reference books dont get this one 100% right
    hint, there are 2 reasons, whats the 2nd one ??

    -also we have actually have 2 moons ,although the 2nd moon is really small. But should specify which moon is one reason for the tides.
    What?????

    It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument. -William G. McAdoo, lawyer and politician (1863-1941)

  6. #6
    Senior Member Gobe1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Teachers Drink

    2 moons.......whack!!!
    Multiplayer games are the Shizz "Theres nothing like killing your mates!" Me

  7. #7
    Rocket Dog WalOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Teachers Drink

    Quote Originally Posted by Gobe1 View Post
    2 moons.......whack!!!
    +1 We have a Ken Ring in our midst.

    Last edited by WalOne; 07-10-2011 at 12:54 PM.
    I have very high hopes that seriousness is a reversible condition.

    Dr Lester Levy


    I've studied deeply in the philosophies and religions, but cheerfulness kept breaking through.

    Leonard Cohen

  8. #8
    Senior Member 1101's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Teachers Drink

    Quote Originally Posted by Gobe1 View Post
    2 moons.......whack!!!
    http://earthsky.org/space/cruithne
    OK, was wrong, it just appears to be a 2nd moon.

    We do have an earth trojan tho...
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earth_Trojan_asteroid

  9. #9
    Senior Member Bobh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Teachers Drink

    This is either what teachers teach or maybe when teachers teach the students are not listening.
    Windows 10 Home 64-bit, Intel Core i3 540 3.07GHz, 8 GB Dual-Channel DDR3, Gigabyte H55-USB3, Nvidia Geforce GTS 450, Hauppauge WinTV-HVR-3300

  10. #10
    Senior Member Gobe1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Teachers Drink

    noooo "2 moons" when the possums get run over by the rally car!
    Multiplayer games are the Shizz "Theres nothing like killing your mates!" Me

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