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Thread: Men Jokes

  1. #1
    Senior Member pctek's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    In the Wild West

    Default Men Jokes

    Letter to Mens Helpline:-

    Hey Mate, really need your advice on a serious problem:

    I have suspected, for some time now, that the missus has
    been cheating on me .The usual signs; Phone rings, if I answer the caller hangs up, going out with the girls a lot at night .....

    I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes
    home but I usually fall asleep.

    Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat, when she came home she got out of some fella's car buttoning her top, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on .....

    It was at that moment, crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a "hairline crack" in the outboard mounting bracket.
    Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace it ??
    Dear Walter:

    I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.
    When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady making mad passionate love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months.
    I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore.
    Can you please help?

    Mrs. Sheila Usk


    Dear Sheila:

    A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.
    I hope this helps.

    A man dashes into the A&E dept. and yells . .. . 'My wife's going to have her baby in the taxi'.
    I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the taxi, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly after protests from the lady I noticed that there were several taxis - - - and I was in the wrong one.

    Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald , St.. Andrews Hosp. Glasgow------------------------
    Last edited by pctek; 16-10-2010 at 05:19 PM.
    wipe your paws.

  2. #2
    Generic Member The Error Guy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008

    Default Re: Men Jokes

    You'll probably need to replace that bracket, you can try welding but it could make it worse.
    The Master Of Deception

    >~~ i7 Sandy Bridge 2630QM 2.0GHz ~~ 4GB RAM ~~ATI 6770M 1Gb~~ 640gb Pri HDD 1tb Secnd~~<

  3. #3
    Lifetime Member lakewoodlady's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    On a need to know basis....

    Default Re: Men Jokes

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