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Type: Posts; User: tutaenui

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  1. Re: Pretty quiet on the forum. Time for a few jokes

    A woman gives birth to a baby, and after a few moments looking at it, the doctor says to her, “There’s something I need to tell you.”

    “Oh my god,” she gasps, “what’s wrong?”

    “Nothing’s exactly...
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    Re: We used to listen to the radio before TV.

    A program that has stuck in my mind from the early 1950's was a Si-Fi adventure series called "Journey to Mars" and its follow up "Lost in space". I think it was a BBC production and was notable for...
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    Re: Malwarebytes & Ghostery

    I have investigated Malwarebytes further and it appears to have grown into a full blown anti virus program, which at this stage most reviewers rate it so-so. I have decided not to install it but to...
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    Malwarebytes & Ghostery

    I have just got myself a new laptop and I am in the process of installing new apps while reducing the number I had on my previous computer. I have a lifetime licence to Malwarebytes premium, is it...
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    Re: Tuesdays Laugh

    Description of cricket as played in England

    Two old men in white coats walk slowly on to a large field, each carrying three long sticks and two short ones.

    The old man each set their three...
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    Re: America still using the Imperial System

    Thank God not all is lost you can still buy champagne by the magnum!
  7. Re: Al Brown - legendry cook - I don't think so!

    Obviously your culinary tastes do not extend beyond KFC but Al Brown is an extremely well known Chef tv presenter and author. For a brief outline of his CV, see...
  8. Thread: Humour -2

    by tutaenui
    Replies
    4
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    1,118

    Re: Humour -2

    From The London Times:

    A Well-Planned Retirement

    Outside England ‘s Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant...
  9. Thread: Sunday Joke

    by tutaenui
    Replies
    7
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    605

    Re: Sunday Joke

    A priest goes duck hunting with a friend. They are in the duck blind when one flies by. The friend takes a shot and misses.

    “God dammit, I missed!”

    “Son,” says the priest. “That’s not pleasing...
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    Re: Sunday’s Joke

    A brass band was engaged to play in the local park. Their contract said that they could pack up and go home if there was no audience, but if just one person was watching, they would have to play...
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    Re: Sunday’s Joke

    Centuries ago, The Poet went to the seashore to be alone with his muse. He got sick, and he could barely get to the door when The Fisherman knocked. They talked for a bit, and The Fisherman asked...
  12. Re: Suggestions for Photoediting Software or subscriptions

    I have used Picturewindow pro 7 successfully for a number of years, including preparing photos for publication. It has recently extensively revised to version 8, which I have yet to try. Can be...
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    Re: What watch you're wearing?

    Tissot for everyday, gold Omega for dress, also have antique gold Omega pocket watch.
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    Re: Best phone for marginal reception

    Good suggestion, but unfortunately the smart electricity meter doesn't work here either and I understand it uses the Vodafone network. We actually have a land line but some people insist ringing us...
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    Best phone for marginal reception

    As the title suggests I am looking for suggestions for a mid priced phone, preferably Spark, that will operate satisfactorily in a cell phone shadow area, such that I don't have to run up to the...
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    Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    An elderly couple are attending a church service. About halfway through, she writes a note and hands it to her husband. It says, "I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"

    He...
  17. Thread: Junk Mail

    by tutaenui
    Replies
    17
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    2,771

    Re: Junk Mail

    I must have been lucky then still clean after 22 years.
  18. Thread: Junk Mail

    by tutaenui
    Replies
    17
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    2,771

    Re: Junk Mail

    I run 3 email accounts, one for personal mail and only used between trusted friends, which attracts no spam, the second is a semi personal account which I use for hobby purposes, ie clubs,forums etc...
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    Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    A thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He tied up the woman and at knife-point asked the man to hand over the jewelry and money. The man started sobbing and said, “You can take anything you want. You...
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    Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    Back in the 1800’s the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products and, since they already made the cases for pocket watches, decided to market compasses for the pioneers...
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    Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    A weasel walks into a bar.

    The Bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?”

    “Pop,” goes the weasel.


    .............................

    An Eskimo goes to a...
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    Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    John, who lived in the north of England, decided to go golfing in Scotland with his buddy Shawn, so they loaded up John’s minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a...
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    Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives.

    “Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?” asked the one.

    “Well, not exactly.” His friend replied, “She’s more into the trick...
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    Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    The defendant and his lawyer are in the courtroom, the man being charged with theft. The lawyer tells the crusty old judge, “My lord, my client has produced receipts for, firstly, the high speed...
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    Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    The beer drinkers prayer

    Our lager,
    Which art in barrels,
    Hallowed be thy drink
    Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk,
    At home as it is in the pub,
    Give us this day our foamy head,
    And forgive...
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