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  1. Thread: Sunday Joke

    by tutaenui
    Replies
    7
    Views
    434

    Re: Sunday Joke

    A priest goes duck hunting with a friend. They are in the duck blind when one flies by. The friend takes a shot and misses.

    “God dammit, I missed!”

    “Son,” says the priest. “That’s not pleasing...
  2. Replies
    10
    Views
    898

    Re: Sunday’s Joke

    A brass band was engaged to play in the local park. Their contract said that they could pack up and go home if there was no audience, but if just one person was watching, they would have to play...
  3. Replies
    10
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    898

    Re: Sunday’s Joke

    Centuries ago, The Poet went to the seashore to be alone with his muse. He got sick, and he could barely get to the door when The Fisherman knocked. They talked for a bit, and The Fisherman asked...
  4. Re: Suggestions for Photoediting Software or subscriptions

    I have used Picturewindow pro 7 successfully for a number of years, including preparing photos for publication. It has recently extensively revised to version 8, which I have yet to try. Can be...
  5. Replies
    10
    Views
    770

    Re: What watch you're wearing?

    Tissot for everyday, gold Omega for dress, also have antique gold Omega pocket watch.
  6. Replies
    8
    Views
    892

    Re: Best phone for marginal reception

    Good suggestion, but unfortunately the smart electricity meter doesn't work here either and I understand it uses the Vodafone network. We actually have a land line but some people insist ringing us...
  7. Replies
    8
    Views
    892

    Best phone for marginal reception

    As the title suggests I am looking for suggestions for a mid priced phone, preferably Spark, that will operate satisfactorily in a cell phone shadow area, such that I don't have to run up to the...
  8. Replies
    76
    Views
    11,060

    Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    An elderly couple are attending a church service. About halfway through, she writes a note and hands it to her husband. It says, "I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"

    He...
  9. Thread: Junk Mail

    by tutaenui
    Replies
    17
    Views
    2,046

    Re: Junk Mail

    I must have been lucky then still clean after 22 years.
  10. Thread: Junk Mail

    by tutaenui
    Replies
    17
    Views
    2,046

    Re: Junk Mail

    I run 3 email accounts, one for personal mail and only used between trusted friends, which attracts no spam, the second is a semi personal account which I use for hobby purposes, ie clubs,forums etc...
  11. Replies
    21
    Views
    2,662

    Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    A thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He tied up the woman and at knife-point asked the man to hand over the jewelry and money. The man started sobbing and said, “You can take anything you want. You...
  12. Replies
    6
    Views
    1,400

    Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    Back in the 1800’s the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products and, since they already made the cases for pocket watches, decided to market compasses for the pioneers...
  13. Replies
    3
    Views
    740

    Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    A weasel walks into a bar.

    The Bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?”

    “Pop,” goes the weasel.


    .............................

    An Eskimo goes to a...
  14. Replies
    32
    Views
    4,076

    Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    John, who lived in the north of England, decided to go golfing in Scotland with his buddy Shawn, so they loaded up John’s minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a...
  15. Replies
    6
    Views
    845

    Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives.

    “Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?” asked the one.

    “Well, not exactly.” His friend replied, “She’s more into the trick...
  16. Replies
    3
    Views
    808

    Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    The defendant and his lawyer are in the courtroom, the man being charged with theft. The lawyer tells the crusty old judge, “My lord, my client has produced receipts for, firstly, the high speed...
  17. Replies
    4
    Views
    904

    Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    The beer drinkers prayer

    Our lager,
    Which art in barrels,
    Hallowed be thy drink
    Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk,
    At home as it is in the pub,
    Give us this day our foamy head,
    And forgive...
  18. Replies
    9
    Views
    1,650

    Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    Cowboy said to a Rancher, ‘Is that your dog?’

    The Rancher replied, ‘Yup.’

    ‘Mind if I talk to him?’

    ‘Durn fool, don’t you know dogs don’t talk?’

    The Cowboy replied, ‘So what’s the harm?...
  19. Replies
    3
    Views
    613

    Re: Friday Funnies

    In the backwoods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night. The doctor was called in to assist in the delivery.

    To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor...
  20. Replies
    6
    Views
    1,128

    Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    I had the toughest time of my life. First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis. Then they gave me...
  21. Replies
    5
    Views
    1,040

    Re: Monday Laughs: Mating Rituals

    A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two...
  22. Replies
    6
    Views
    1,549

    Re: Monday Laughs - please contribute

    My new girlfriend asked me how many girls I’ve slept with.
    “Eleven” I replied.
    “Wow! You must be a player” she laughed.
    “No” I said “I’m their coach”.
  23. Thread: Sunday joke

    by tutaenui
    Replies
    11
    Views
    2,220

    Re: Sunday joke

    I was working out at the gym when I spotted a sweet young thing walking in...

    I asked the trainer standing next to me, “What machine should I use to impress that lady over there?

    The trainer...
  24. Replies
    3
    Views
    827

    Re: Monday Laughs Mar 26

    Young Jewish couple are having their first baby, after the birth the Doctor comes to them and says, “you have a healthy baby boy, but I’m afraid he’s been born without eyelids.”

    “What can we do,”...
  25. Replies
    5
    Views
    1,036

    Re: Monday Laughs Mar 5th

    This bloke goes to a dance and has the good fortune to get off with a young lady named Tina, he ends up escorting her to her home and he is invited to stay the night, which they both enjoy.

    She...
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