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Ninjabear
25-12-2006, 06:32 PM
If you are living with your girlfriend.Single room.Same bed.Rent and expensive are split in half but you each have individual bank account .You dont have a joint account.Would you state it as a de facto relationship?

sam m
25-12-2006, 07:07 PM
If you are living with your girlfriend.Single room.Same bed.Rent and expensive are split in half but you each have individual bank account .You dont have a joint account.Would you state it as a de facto relationship?

Time (http://72.14.253.104/search?q=cache:NgY5kcG0woIJ:www.lawlink.co.nz/members/timpanywalton/defacto.pdf+de+facto+relationship+time&hl=en&gl=nz&ct=clnk&cd=1&client=firefox-a)will tell...

pctek
25-12-2006, 08:18 PM
Girlfriend. Same bed. Yes it is. Bank accounts have nothing to do with it.
And when its 2 years then its official. So she gets to take half your stuff when she leaves.

winmacguy
25-12-2006, 08:19 PM
Girlfriend. Same bed. Yes it is. Bank accounts have nothing to do with it.
And when its 2 years then its official. So she gets to take half your stuff when she leaves.

Common law marriage after 3 years I think...?

Greg
25-12-2006, 10:37 PM
Girlfriend. Same bed. Yes it is. Bank accounts have nothing to do with it.
And when its 2 years then its official. So she gets to take half your stuff when she leaves.Nope.

Defacto relationships come into legal effect under different circumstances - Winz define it quite strictly whereby it doesn't matter how long you've been together. In terms of seperation issues the legal default period is three years.

winmacguy
25-12-2006, 10:41 PM
Nope.

Defacto relationships come into legal effect under different circumstances - Winz define it quite strictly whereby it doesn't matter how long you've been together. In terms of seperation issues the legal default period is three years.

Although I am happily married that is interesting to know.
Thanks Greg.

Ninjabear
25-12-2006, 10:43 PM
The term de facto relationship is quite confusing

It says it depends if you share income, and if your family knows about the relationship etc

Studylink is really annoying.Sent us a form to fill out

It states Change of bank accounts and income

One person said yes its a de facto relationship.Another says no,just ignore the woman.

Winston001
25-12-2006, 10:50 PM
Possibly.

And if the relationship lasts 3 years then you each have a claim on half of the total relationship property. So for example, if you own a car but your girlfriend uses it to get groceries for both of you then it is likely to be classified as relationship property. And you get a crack at her superannuation.

As to what constitutes a relationship - here are some factors:

• How long you have lived together
• Whether you live in the same house all or part of the time
• Whether you have a sexual relationship
• Whether you mingle your finances
• Whether one of you supports the other financially
• Who owns your property, how you use it and how you got it
• Whether you are both committed to a shared life
• Whether you have children and who looks after them
• Who does the housework
• Whether other people see you as being in a relationship

drcspy
26-12-2006, 01:49 AM
for winz purposes the basic definition is if the relationship is 'in the nature of marriage' .....i'd say you fulfil that....seperate bank accounts dont matter really.....

pctek
26-12-2006, 11:57 AM
Apart from WINZ definition which is probably if they stood next to you for more than 1 hour, according to the law, if you have been together keeping house for 2 years or more, then when you "divorce" its 50/50 same as a married couple.

rogerp
26-12-2006, 12:20 PM
If you are living with your girlfriend.Single room.Same bed.Rent and expensive are split in half but you each have individual bank account .You dont have a joint account.Would you state it as a de facto relationship?


Yes it is a defacto relationship. Having seperate bank accounts is irrevelent. I know plenty of married couples who have seperate bank accounts too.
The only consideration is the time together, before property is split 50/50 if you break up which isusually 3 years. Two words , put all your assets into a 'family trust'.

Greg
26-12-2006, 01:00 PM
Two words , put all your assets into a 'family trust'.That's not great advice. Firstly the costs of setting up and managing a trust may outvalue the assets. Secondly, the Family Court takes a dim view of persons setting up a trust to try and circumvent the legalities of a marriage, defacto or otherwise.

R2x1
26-12-2006, 01:57 PM
Two words ... your ass...
3 more . . . in a sling :D

John H
26-12-2006, 03:08 PM
If you go to the Work and Income website, there is a brochure there called Relationships and Income Support.
http://www.workandincome.govt.nz/publications/brochures.html

It says:
Are you in a relationship?
You’re in a relationship if you:

are married or
are in a civil union with someone of the same or opposite sex or
share your life with someone of the opposite sex in a way that is ‘like marriage’.

‘Like marriage’ is generally when you and your partner:

are committed to each other emotionally and
have a financial interdependence with each other.

To give you a better idea of what we mean by ‘like marriage’, ask yourself:

Do you live together at the same address most of the time?
Do you live separately but stay overnight at each other’s place a few nights a week?
Do you share responsibilities for bringing up children (if any)?
Do you socialise and holiday together?
Do you share money, bank accounts or credit cards?
Do you share household bills?
Do you have a sexual relationship?
Do people think of you as a couple?
Do you give each other emotional support and companionship?
Would your partner fi nancially support you if you couldn’t support yourself?

This is a guide only, so if you’re unsure about whether you’re in a relationship please give us a call.

Ninjabear
26-12-2006, 03:12 PM
We've been together for like 4 months only.hmm

plod
26-12-2006, 05:20 PM
If you go to the Work and Income website, there is a brochure there called Relationships and Income Support.
http://www.workandincome.govt.nz/publications/brochures.html

It says:
Are you in a relationship?
You’re in a relationship if you:

are married or
are in a civil union with someone of the same or opposite sex or
share your life with someone of the opposite sex in a way that is ‘like marriage’.

‘Like marriage’ is generally when you and your partner:

are committed to each other emotionally and
have a financial interdependence with each other.

To give you a better idea of what we mean by ‘like marriage’, ask yourself:

Do you live together at the same address most of the time?
Do you live separately but stay overnight at each other’s place a few nights a week?
Do you share responsibilities for bringing up children (if any)?
Do you socialise and holiday together?
Do you share money, bank accounts or credit cards?
Do you share household bills?
Do you have a sexual relationship?
Do people think of you as a couple?
Do you give each other emotional support and companionship?
Would your partner fi nancially support you if you couldn’t support yourself?

This is a guide only, so if you’re unsure about whether you’re in a relationship please give us a call.
Thats almost how the wife describes my relationship with my best mate( apart from the sex and money:horrified )

Laura
26-12-2006, 06:03 PM
We've been together for like 4 months only.hmm


So why panic this soon about future consequences?
You've loads of time yet to see if the relationship develops into something permanent enough to consider who gets what -

unless of course she's getting a benefit like the DPB, which you may stuff up for her?
Or either of you are claiming something like a Living Alone allowance?

Ninjabear
26-12-2006, 06:17 PM
We are on Unemployment benefit and student allowance

I apply as single but she insisted of applying for de facto relationship

Which im afraid mite stuff me up.

Laura
26-12-2006, 09:31 PM
I have no knowledge whatsoever about student allowances requirements -
so no advice on that.

But I think I can safely say there's no way anyone can claim Unemployment Benefit for 2 people after 4 months living togeether.

(And neither should they by default, considering that the rest of us are paying for it through our taxes)

If either of you are entitled to an Unemployment Benefit, then apply for it separately & each will be considered on its merits...

R2x1
26-12-2006, 09:40 PM
We are on Unemployment benefit and student allowance

I apply as single but she insisted of applying for de facto relationship

Which im afraid mite stuff me up.
When they find out, if you haven't declared the fact, that could REALLY stuff you up. "They" are not very amused by undeclared status changes.

sam m
26-12-2006, 09:41 PM
We are on Unemployment benefit and student allowance

I apply as single but she insisted of applying for de facto relationship

Which im afraid mite stuff me up.

I think she has stuffed you up. Best go and fess up now, it will take them a mighty long time to find you out, but when they do they will want it paid back. I'm afraid it is probably going to work out less money for you both now. Despite this setback - she sounds like a keeper, honesty is a good attribute.

Billy T
27-12-2006, 01:41 PM
We are on Unemployment benefit and student allowance.
Interesting, I wasn't aware that students could claim both a student allowance and an unemployment benefit?

How does that work?

Cheers

Billy *<8-{)=

Greg
27-12-2006, 02:07 PM
Pretty obvious... one's on one and the other's on the other. Or simply an imperfect use of language.

Ninjabear
27-12-2006, 04:04 PM
I meant Im on a unemployment benefit and I'll be on student allowance next year when massey starts

I don't really like studylink.Their information is unaccurate.One person says this and another person says forget what the first person says then the 3rd time you call the 3rd person tells a different story

Ninjabear
27-12-2006, 04:05 PM
We both enrol seperately with unemployment benefit.Everything is kept seperate.

I did not consider this to be a de facto relationship but more like a girlfriend relationship.Girlfriend relationship isn't really a de facto .This is how I interpret it.

Ninjabear
27-12-2006, 04:08 PM
Living together does not affect the benefit

sam m
27-12-2006, 05:27 PM
We both enrol seperately with unemployment benefit.Everything is kept seperate.

I did not consider this to be a de facto relationship but more like a girlfriend relationship.Girlfriend relationship isn't really a de facto .This is how I interpret it.
I dont think WINZ care how you interpret it, it is how they interpret it that matters. Looking at their criteria here (http://www.workandincome.govt.nz/get-assistance/main-benefit/unemployment-benefit.html#unemployment-benefit) then if you are both under 25 then it appears the benefit works out the same.

Graham L
27-12-2006, 05:56 PM
And of course a study allowance might come under a different interpretation. :D

Once upon a time, you might have been subject to disciplinary action from a university just for being in a mixed flat. James K Baxter even wrote a poem about it: An ode to mixed flatting.

rogerp
28-12-2006, 12:14 PM
I meant Im on a unemployment benefit and I'll be on student allowance next year when massey starts

I don't really like studylink.Their information is unaccurate.One person says this and another person says forget what the first person says then the 3rd time you call the 3rd person tells a different story


I would be 100% straight with them. I know of a couple who lived together and were caught out, as they said they weren't in a relationship. They ended up losing both benefits, and had to deal with a benefit fraud enquiry which was very stressful.

Ninjabear
28-12-2006, 12:34 PM
Yes I'll be going to see the man at massey

He seems to know what hes doing

I didn't think it was a de facto relationship because even though we are living together what she earns is for herself only.We don't share income.
Everything is kept separate and we aren't even sure if we are getting marry.

Oh well.I'll just wait until the 8th when the man starts work then

sam m
28-12-2006, 03:06 PM
Seems to be you are not wanting to hear what you are being told. Having separate finances means nothing. You are viewing this relationship like a flatting situation, same house, share common expenses but personal finances are left to the individual. The difference is you are in a relationship - this means it is a de facto relationship. The sooner you come around to this then the easier it will be on you when you are told by WINZ. Intention of marriage again has nothing to do with it.

BTW you arent studying accounting per chance - my mate sounds just like you. Has his own version of the truth when it comes to money until it bites him on the bum.

Ninjabear
28-12-2006, 04:37 PM
I've just been to study link and changed to de facto relationship.

R2x1
28-12-2006, 04:45 PM
Good move.

Laura
28-12-2006, 04:52 PM
So far this thread seems concentrated on opinions relating to whether or not Nomad's girlfriend may wish/be entitled to claim some of his possessions at some time in the future.

That's hardly the point.
Winz couldn't give a stuff about that - and shouldn't.
Winz's job is to sort out what you're each entitled to be paid now.
And to decide that fairly - so that people who're sharing accomodation & basic bills don't come out better off than single people.
(Ask your nearest superannuitant. It's the same rule for a 70 year-old grandparent as for a student in that. Married couples don't get as much as twice the single rate)


It seems to me that your girlfriend has given the honest answer in your circumstances.
Your relationship is certainly a de facto marriage in terms of living costs - and it's living costs that count here, after all.
And the taxpayers whose money you're receiving, are entitled to hope Winz is making it go as far as possible.

(Why no holiday jobs?
Students weren't eligible for Unemployment Benefit in my day.
You worked or starved or sponged off your parents - no other choices.)


Edit:
I see time has overtaken me & I'm a few posts late.
Forget I spoke...

FoxyMX
28-12-2006, 05:27 PM
Edit:
I see time has overtaken me & I'm a few posts late.
Forget I spoke...

No, you have given some very wise advice there Laura, as usual. I am sure Ninjabear won't be sorry with his decision to do the right thing now. :)

Ninjabear
21-01-2007, 03:47 PM
When they find out, if you haven't declared the fact, that could REALLY stuff you up. "They" are not very amused by undeclared status changes.

They've already stuffed me up now.

They've combine our income.I'm not receiving anything income but because is earning over the limit I don't get any payment

I'm unable to find any jobs.I managed to save a bit up

My girlfriend is really upset about this as we were told before applying that it won't affect my payment

She'll be moving back home and if that won't help she'll be going to city bureau

Ninjabear
21-01-2007, 03:50 PM
I regret applying for de facto.

hmmm

Graham L
21-01-2007, 03:59 PM
Ninjabear, a relationship such as yours
... living with your girlfriend.Single room.Same bed. is called a de facto marriage, regardless of financial arrangements. If you had a marriage certificate that would be de jure.

Nomad
21-01-2007, 05:16 PM
So far this thread seems concentrated on opinions relating to whether or not Nomad's girlfriend may wish/be entitled to claim some of his possessions at some time in the future.



What has this to do with me, I have not yet spoken on this thread :eek:

For Ninjabear. I guess the "good way" would of been telling you your girlfriend's income will affect you and maybe they could of checked the amount and they could of told you then on the phone. But don't tell me you are going to say you are single just to defraud WINZ :annoyed:

But you can AFAIK have a partner and are not married but living at different addresses.

At the end of the day you will still not get it (applied or not applied).

Ninjabear
21-01-2007, 06:29 PM
She'll be moving back home so that wouldn't be a de facto anymore?

Ninjabear
21-01-2007, 06:33 PM
Here's something interesting

We don't work

and we get $183 each thats around $366 for both of us

But then if she works

and she earns less then $300

We both don't get any money

So she'll use $110 to pay her rent per week whic leaves her with $200 or so left

and I get no income support from studylink or anything

Seems a little bit awkward and unfair.Even if it was de facto gees they should look at my situation

Laura
21-01-2007, 08:43 PM
Ooops, Nomad.

Sorry about that.
I must've been having a blonde moment.
(Yes, I'm allowed to say that - fitting it as I do/did)

Nomad
21-01-2007, 08:43 PM
I would ring them up ... and ask them what things you qualify for (if any), you may get a accomodation supplement and IRD may be of some asssitance, ask them ... and they should be able t to tel you.

They compute it via a flow chart while inputting your income amounts ...
If you ask them .. they should tell you to call IRD ... if you qualify and such.

Nomad
21-01-2007, 08:46 PM
Ooops, Nomad.

Sorry about that.
I must've been having a blonde moment.
(Yes, I'm allowed to say that - fitting it as I do/did)


Girlfriend, yeah right. Well, not at the moment.
I will say no more.
:xmouth: :thumbs:

rogerp
22-01-2007, 12:55 PM
She'll be moving back home so that wouldn't be a de facto anymore?

It doesn't matter if she moves back home, I believe you will still be in a de facto relationship, unless you actually break up. It doesn't matter if you live together or not. Moving out could be look on very negatively by Winz, and they could contact your friends and family to confirm your relationhip with one another. If they find that you are still in a relationship, and she has moved out, solely so you can get more money from us tax payers, I believe it could be considered as fraud.
I am unsure what the issue is, if you are in a relationship, you would be considered as a single entity by the government, so you would share your joint income. It sounds like you are wanting to get as much money from us tax payers as possible.

Nomad
22-01-2007, 02:26 PM
Here's a curveball, let's say you went to uni and lived away from home, meet a bf or a gf is that defacto? Or let's say at high school you have a gf or bf and now go to uni .. is that defacto, do you put down defacto on the form?

Nomad
22-01-2007, 02:29 PM
Here is what studylink says:

Away from home

By 'away from home' we mean that if you are single you do not live with your parents or, if you have a partner you do not live with them. Please note, if you are living in a house owned and maintained by your parents and you do not pay rent, then you are considered as 'living at home'.


Recognised relationship

A recognised relationship is when you are both 25 or over and living in a relationship in the nature of marriage. This includes being married, part of a civil union or in a de facto relationship. If either of you is under 25 one or both of you must have a child in your careto be in a recognised relationship.

Please note - same sex de facto relationships are currently not recognised for Student Allowance purposes, but will be from 1 April 2007. More information about this change will be available closer to that time.


Immigration says this, not sure how this applies to winz thou.
Spouse and De Facto Partner

Your spouse or de facto partner may be included in your residence application if you are legally married or your relationship meets the definition of a de facto relationship.

For the purpose of inclusion in an application, a de facto partner is a partner in a heterosexual or same sex relationship who has been living with the principal applicant in a genuine and stable relationship for at least 2 years immediately before the application is lodged.

Note: If you are in a polygamous marriage or relationship, you may include only one spouse or partner in your application for residence.

Edit.
It does not say, at the same addy or not .. so if its like a "genuine and stable relationship" for 2yrs then from that word it seems it is.

rogerp
22-01-2007, 04:40 PM
Here's a curveball, let's say you went to uni and lived away from home, meet a bf or a gf is that defacto? Or let's say at high school you have a gf or bf and now go to uni .. is that defacto, do you put down defacto on the form?

Yes, if it is a relationship. I am pretty sure this has already been tested by common law. If you enter into a relationshp at uni, but didn't live together, and 2 years later you finish uni and move in together, and then a year later you break up, you are deemed to have been in a defacto relationship for 3 years, and in law this is deemed to be the same as marriage, and hence property would need to be divided between the couple.. Winz can use family and/or friends to verify whether the relationship exists.

Nomad
22-01-2007, 04:51 PM
Isn't the " at least 2yr living together"? Just taking the words from immigration site that is.

Then if a person breaks up in a few months or a yr (start to end), I am free, woohoo ... :D :thumbs:

Another curveball, let's say the folks are v conservative you have never lived together (or less than 2yr) and you are in a relationship that is 2yr or more, you only move in when you are officially "married". Then what is that?

Ninjabear
22-01-2007, 04:59 PM
It doesn't matter if she moves back home, I believe you will still be in a de facto relationship, unless you actually break up. It doesn't matter if you live together or not. Moving out could be look on very negatively by Winz, and they could contact your friends and family to confirm your relationhip with one another. If they find that you are still in a relationship, and she has moved out, solely so you can get more money from us tax payers, I believe it could be considered as fraud.
I am unsure what the issue is, if you are in a relationship, you would be considered as a single entity by the government, so you would share your joint income. It sounds like you are wanting to get as much money from us tax payers as possible.


Studylink has told me that we are both single now since she is moving out and I am paying rent.We did not fraud in anyway .That is the information that they told us

When we were in a relaionship and we are not working we get $183 each.If we are single we get $163 each so we are not getting more money from tax payers.
Now that she's working she isn't suppose to be receiving any money but last week she got payed and I can't find a job and i didn't get payed

When she told studylink about it studylink said we'll deduct it back but who knows if they will

You tell them the truth you get penalise and mess u around

Nomad
22-01-2007, 05:03 PM
When she told studylink about it studylink said we'll deduct it back but who knows if they will

Studylink or MSD will deduct it off your future benefits (if any) to make the adjustments, if she is no longer receiving any thing from them, they will send her a bill to pay it off and this can be paid from the NZ Post branches. I think it can also be paid off in installments as well, if need be they access to debt collection agencies.

Nomad
22-01-2007, 05:15 PM
IMHO I see the issue of maximising benefits nothing wrong.
At uni, they tell you what you are fully entitled to such as student loans and allowances.

The pple make the policies and they make the rules for eligibility.

Pple do it everyday. You bargain at the stores, you look at pricespy. You hunt for bargains, you go to Pak n' Save or use coupons or the One Card. You travel at offpeak times, or you travel with a airline that is not perhaps the $$ Air New Zealand. You look for scholarhships. If you wish to live at home or away from home you look at what the govt provides and then weigh out if you can afford to do so or not. You apply early and not late so you don't miss out in a loan/allowance payment. Obviously if one wants they can buy computers at Noel Leeming and smile or they can not apply for the allowance even if they are qualified. They can choose to take a student loan instead.

Ninjabear
22-01-2007, 05:20 PM
IMHO I see the issue of maximising benefits nothing wrong.
At uni, they tell you what you are fully entitled to such as student loans and allowances.

The pple make the policies and they make the rules for eligibility.

Pple do it everyday. You bargain at the stores, you look at pricespy. You hunt for bargains, you go to Pak n' Save or use coupons or the One Card. You travel at offpeak times, or you travel with a airline that is not perhaps the $$ Air New Zealand. You look for scholarhships. If you wish to live at home or away from home you look at what the govt provides and then weigh out if you can afford to do so or not. You apply early and not late so you don't miss out in a loan/allowance payment. Obviously if one wants they can buy computers at Noel Leeming and smile or they can not apply for the allowance even if they are qualified. They can choose to take a student loan instead.

Yea we did apply early

problem is if you ask pak n save of a price of pears they tell you its $2.38 per KG .5 minutes later you ask another person he'll say $3 per KG and the the next person will say $2.40 per kg

Im happy that government is providing us benefits however Im annoy that they don't have a set policy.Each person tells you a different story

Nomad
22-01-2007, 05:25 PM
They do have a set policy. Prior to application. Depends on what you tell them and what info they have to go on with.

Post application the forms are sent out and later they will be able to tell you what you qualify for "cast in iron" but if you choose change your living arrangements and finance your circumstance will change again and what you qualify for will also change.

They should have a booklet for you, pamphlets and the website that you can read up on incl info re: eligibility, that was how it was at my time at uni.

Edit.
One thing they won't tell you is, I see this is your situation, if you do A B and C then you can get more money from us. They ask what your situation is right now and then they use this info and provide you what you qualify for. If you say, oh if I study a diff course or if I go to Auckland to study instead of Dunedin, how would it change. They will go via one situation and tell you what you get, they then go via a diff one and tell you for that what you get.

Ninjabear
22-01-2007, 05:33 PM
They did have a panthlet and website but it doesn't say anything about de facto relationship

We didn't intend to want more money in the first place .We were being honest by telling them that it is a de facto but...as you can see things didn't went too well.Got given the wrong information

Ninjabear
22-01-2007, 05:34 PM
Anyway.Will see what happens later on now.Just not happy with what studylink has done to us

Nomad
22-01-2007, 05:34 PM
Since you told them you are in a defacto relationship, they told you what you qualify for based on that piece of info. If you were not sure what defacto was you could of asked them for a definition and they would of clarified it.

Ninjabear
22-01-2007, 05:37 PM
Yes we were told we were de facto but another person at studylink said we weren't de facto

Nomad
22-01-2007, 05:42 PM
Be single, no woman troubles either :rolleyes:

Doesn't make a diff. De facto is just a term. Just tell them this is me, I am living such, I am income as such, such and such .. If you been living together and it has come to this and this is what you get, now if you change your mind and move out it changes again.

Just by changing the term does squat, the term defines your current situation, for you to honestly change the term you have to alter your arrangement.

If you say I am not sure if I want to move in with her or not, it depends on what the govt defines it and stuff, then ok ....

Erayd
23-01-2007, 10:46 AM
Pple do it everyday. You bargain at the stores, you look at pricespy. You hunt for bargains, you go to Pak n' Save or use coupons or the One Card. You travel at offpeak times, or you travel with a airline that is not perhaps the $$ Air New Zealand.The difference here is that these are all things in which you spend YOUR money on things you want. A benefit is where you spend OUR money, often with little or no oversight from the govt. The point here being that the money isn't yours, it belongs to us, the taxpayers.

I don't see anything wrong with a benefit for those who truly need it, but I don't think you should be getting any more than you truly need to survive. I also view the student loan scheme as slightly different - as it is a loan and not a gift, it's your ass on the line if you abuse it, which is an incentive to act responsibly.

You say you can't get work - what have you tried? SJS is an extremely good path to go down, as is physically turning up at places and asking if they have any vacancies. If you see a job advertised, you are more likely to be hired if you turn up in person as it shows that you are motivated. I would be extremely surprised if you have done all that and still do not have a job.

Greg
23-01-2007, 11:03 AM
This thread has so been done to death :groan:

Nomad
23-01-2007, 12:10 PM
Org's do it all the time. Businesses, individuals, govt org's.
They lobby, govt funds, target subsidies, tax breaks, the list goes on.
If its not favourable both the govt or the other party may have a change of course.

Graham L
23-01-2007, 01:27 PM
That "two years" in the Immigration definition will not apply to the present case. That's for the purposes of immigration . . . whether it's a "family" situation. For benefits, 1 week would be enough. ;)

Biggles
23-01-2007, 04:05 PM
As to what constitutes a relationship - here are some factors:

• How long you have lived together
• Whether you live in the same house all or part of the time
• Whether you have a sexual relationship
• Whether you mingle your finances
• Whether one of you supports the other financially
• Who owns your property, how you use it and how you got it
• Whether you are both committed to a shared life
• Whether you have children and who looks after them
• Who does the housework
• Whether other people see you as being in a relationship

No. There is one and only one true measure of whether you are in de facto relationship. Who controls the TV remote. You do - it's casual thing. She does - you're hooked and might as well just give her the money, car keys and other necessities right now and stop pretending.

plod
23-01-2007, 04:48 PM
No. There is one and only one true measure of whether you are in de facto relationship. Who controls the TV remote. You do - it's casual thing. She does - you're hooked and might as well just give her the money, car keys and other necessities right now and stop pretending.

woo hoo, my relationship is casual. just have to break the news to the wife:confused:

Biggles
24-01-2007, 09:02 AM
woo hoo, my relationship is casual. just have to break the news to the wife:confused:

Be gentle. It's likely to come as a shock to her.

Lizard
24-01-2007, 09:26 AM
No. There is one and only one true measure of whether you are in de facto relationship. Who controls the TV remote. You do - it's casual thing. She does - you're hooked and might as well just give her the money, car keys and other necessities right now and stop pretending.

So what happens when you each have a remote? Or you have the TV remote but she has the DVD/VCR remote? ;)

Biggles
24-01-2007, 11:34 AM
So what happens when you each have a remote? Or you have the TV remote but she has the DVD/VCR remote? ;)

Then you're both obviously still in the courtship phase. To test this out rent lots of romantic comedies. This should result in romantic moments and leave the remote in your hand. The rent the Die Hard Trilogy. If the remote is promptly removed from your hand, and she doesn't let you go to the video store without her in tow next time, then congratulations, you're in a de facto relationship ....