PDA

View Full Version : OT.A little Sunday humour.



Thomas
24-08-2003, 08:27 PM
Think the last one is my favorite.
me
..

TEACHER: Why are you late?

BALGOBIN: Because of the sign.

TEACHER: What sign?

BALGOBIN: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


TEACHER: Balgobin, why are you doing your math sums on the floor?

BALGOBIN: You told me to do it without using tables!


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


TEACHER: Balgobin, how do you spell "crocodile"?

BALGOBIN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

BALGOBIN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?

BALGOBIN: "HIJKLMNO"!!

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

BALGOBIN: Yesterday you said it's H to O!


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

TEACHER: Balgobin, go to the map and find North America.

BALGOBIN: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

CLASS: Balgobin!


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


TEACHER: Balgobin, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

BALGOBIN: Me!


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


TEACHER: Balgobin, why do you always get so dirty?

BALGOBIN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


BALGOBIN: Dad, can you write in the dark?

FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?

BALGOBIN: Your name on this report card.


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?

BALGOBIN: Don't bite any.


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*


TEACHER: Balgobin, give me a sentence starting with "I".

BALGOBIN: I is...

TEACHER: No, Balgobin. Always say, "I am."

BALGOBIN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"

BALGOBIN: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"

BALGOBIN: "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


BALGOBIN: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?

FATHER: No. Why do you ask that?

BALGOBIN: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


TEACHER: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!

BALGOBIN: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.



*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


TEACHER: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?

BALGOBIN: Brotherly love?


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


TEACHER: Now, Balgobin, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?

BALGOBIN: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*



TEACHER: Balgobin, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

BALGOBIN: No, teacher, it's the same dog!



-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*



TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

BALGOBIN: A teacher


-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*






--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free, easy-to-use web site design software

Murray P
24-08-2003, 10:16 PM
2nd to last :)

Cheers Murray P

Thomas
25-08-2003, 09:49 PM
There are two Mexicans who have been lost in the desert for weeks and they're at death's door. As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a tree off in the distance. As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly-raw bacon, all sorts.





"Hey, Pepe" says the first Mexican, ”ees a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!"





"You're right, amigo!" says Pepe.





So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. As he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of machine gun fire and he is shot down in a hail of bullets. His friend quickly drops down on the sand and calls across to the dying Pepe.





"Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa, hombre?"





With his dying breath Pepe calls out.... "Ugh, run, amigo, run, ees not a Bacon Tree ees a ham bush".



Have great day, Amigos!