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Steve Askew
15-12-2002, 10:50 PM
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
The computer was humming, the icons were hopping,
As Papa did last-minute Internet shopping.
The stockings were hung by the modem with care
In hopes that St. Nicholas would bring new software.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of computer games danced in their heads.
PageMaker for Billy, and Quicken for Dan,
And Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann.
The letters to Santa had been sent out by Mom,
To santaclaus@toyshop.northpole.com
Which has now been re-routed to Washington State
Because Santa's workshop has been bought by Bill Gates.

All the elves and reindeer have had to skedaddle
To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle.
After centuries of a life that was simple and spare,
St. Nicholas is suddenly a new billionaire,
With a shiny red Porsche in the place of his sleigh,
And a house on Lake Washington that's just down the way
From where Bill has his mansion. The old fellow preens
In black Gucci boots and red Calvin jeans.
The elves have stock options and desks with a view,
Where they write computer code for Johnny and Sue.

No more dolls or tin soldiers or little toy drums
Will be under the tree, only compact disk ROMS
With the Microsoft label. So spin up your drive,
From now on Christmas runs only on Win95.
More rapid than eagles the competitors came,
Bill whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.
"Now, ADOBE! now, CLARIS! now, INTUIT! too,
Now, APPLE! and NETSCAPE! you're all of you through,
It is Microsoft's SANTA that the kids can't resist,
It's the ultimate software with a traditional twist -
Recommended by no less than the jolly old elf,
And on the package, a picture of Santa himself.

Get 'em young, keep 'em long, is Microsoft's scheme,
And a merger with Santa is a marketer's dream.
To the top of the NASDAQ! to the top of the Dow!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away - wow!"
And Mama in her 'kerchief and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
The whir and the hum of our satellite platter,
As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the sky,
The SANTALITE owned by the Microsoft guy.

As I sprang from my bed and was turning around,
My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound.
And there on the screen was a smiling Bill Gates
Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates.
And I heard them exclaim in voices so bright,

"A MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS, and TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!"

duckyduck
15-12-2002, 11:08 PM
Not bad, not bad at all.................

-=JM=-
16-12-2002, 12:39 AM
Nice, much better than "Have a merry Briscoes"

cyberchuck
16-12-2002, 07:34 AM
That's a good one...
Seem's that Microsoft's plan to get kids at a young age has worked on me :D
I'm an avid Microsoft User


CyberChuck

raddersnz
16-12-2002, 09:11 AM
>>Seem's that Microsoft's plan to get kids at a young age has worked on me
I'm an avid Microsoft User

WAKE UP then.:D There are endless (limited) lists of alternatives which work better or show improvements over MS.
For one you could try Linux. :-)
Secondly, just because Bill gives a browser and email client with windows, does not mean you have to use it.]:)
Finally, you will find ahellufalotta OPEN-SOURCE software out there, which has already been fixed before the bug has been found:p

Take care, and burn any MS logos:p

radz:DG):p

cyberchuck
16-12-2002, 09:20 AM
Hey

I am aware of Linux alternatives... Just purchased a copy of Redhat 8 the other day to use on my servers (once I get them sorted out). Also I'm currently downloading Yoppix off the NZ server (I plan on getting a Linux test PC to muck around with different distro's on it)

Secondly.. I have no problem with Microsoft incorporating a browser, email client, OS, and any other freebee's into one handy-dandy-package... Saves me time and hassle (except on Windows Updates)

Burn any MS logo's??? hmm... I suppose I could edit the splash screens in a GIF animator or something like that, and then save them with the Welcome to Windows or whatever it is getting burnt out...


CyberChuck

Synchronised_Thoughts
16-12-2002, 09:21 AM
i like it:):)


Synchronised_Thoughts

segfault
16-12-2002, 10:34 AM
It worked on me for a while but I saw the light many years ago. :)

agent
16-12-2002, 11:13 AM
I saw the light last Sunday.... and failed many attempts to install Red Hat on an old computer. So now I'll stick with a mix of Windows and Linux distros (particularly Red Hat).

tones_malones
16-12-2002, 11:54 AM
ooh i love it!!!!
i'm not a fan, but Microsoft is like Telecom for many of us. We are aware of the alternatives but don't have the time, resources or patience to change.

jeez i hope i don't sound like a micro-lover...cos im not :P i wish i had the interlectuall capacity to install linux and have a dual boot-y thang, but alas i don't :) anyone willing to show me and educate me is free to do so :)


Tones

Chilling_Silence
16-12-2002, 12:14 PM
> WAKE UP then.:D There are endless (limited) lists of
> alternatives which work better or show improvements
> over MS.
> For one you could try Linux. :-)
> Secondly, just because Bill gives a browser and email
> client with windows, does not mean you have to use
> it.]:)

No, You dont, but then again, a lot of newbies appreciate having stuff like that bundled, apparently the majority of home users with Linux on their PC, and even a lot of corporate users still use the standard browsers that come with Linux. "Why download additional ones" they'd say, "When it comes with them, and they work for me, so why change?!". Same concept, different OS. Each to his own, I personally am using Phoenix which is compatible between Linux and M$ OS's!

> Finally, you will find ahellufalotta OPEN-SOURCE
> software out there, which has already been fixed
> before the bug has been found:p

Linux have their share of bugs too, perhaps you just dont know of them.
I know that in RH8, there's the little icon in the taskbar that shows when its updating itself, when its found a hole, and when its all up2date.
Again... That problem is not OS dependant.


> Take care, and burn any MS logos:p
>
> radz:DG):p

Well, I change the boot logos, so that's enough for me now.


I'm off to forward this to some of my buddies who work for microsoft and its sub-companies :-)

Merry "MS" Christmas too all :D

Chilling_Silence

agent
16-12-2002, 06:14 PM
A copy of PartitionMagic can suit you here... just boot your computer off a rescue disk into DOS, then run pgmagic.exe (the PartitionMagic executable), and shrink the size of your drive so there is around 6GB of so-called "free space". Then get yourself a copy of Linux, boot off the CD (may require some BIOS setting changes), and tell it to install into the free space... of course, those are extremely basic instructions, but you should be able to find some guides on the net to do it, or just make a thread about installing Linux and getting your computer to dual-boot.

Clueless
17-12-2002, 10:26 AM
>a lot of newbies appreciate having stuff like that bundled, apparently the majority of home users with Linux on their PC, and even a lot of corporate users still use the standard browsers that come with Linux.

That includes me... i'm running (walking) SuSE8-Linux and am enjoying Konqueror and Kmail, which is the browser and email client that comes with it. Its all very well being a smart ass and saying there are better things out there, but for those new at it, its probably best to learn what we have in front of us first.

Also, most "home users", have a job/professional hobby that leaves them unable to dedicate sufficiant time or brain power to learning too much at once outside of that. I know that is the case with me. SuSE remains on the backburner. I just dabble with it at my own pace.

Having said that, everything i get the hang of in Linux is one less thing i'm doing on my doze box. Just through gentle playing with SuSE i have got the ratio 40% SuSE 60% doze, which should be 50/50 in a couple of months.

.Clueless

Chilling_Silence
17-12-2002, 10:36 AM
Exaclty, Quick question for you, how would you feel if the SuSE dirstro didnt come with a web browser? For starters it'd be murder trying to download one off the net!?

Quite simply, you need on to start off with, even if you wanna download your own browser!

Clueless
17-12-2002, 10:55 AM
Chill,

Fortunatly SuSE comes with several, but i would hate to have started with none.. i would have had to download and burn one onto CD using the doze box, and then wander over to the other side of the office and install it.....
Sounds tedious me thinks!

In time i'm sure i shall try other Linux browsers, ive tried opera-linux but prefer konqueror. Each to thier own of course.

.Clueless