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View Full Version : OT - Mike's sad joke for the day... warning, it's really bad!



Mike
03-10-2002, 09:23 AM
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there
anything you can do
for him?"

"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him."

So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.

Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."

"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"

"No, because he's really heavy."

<rimshot>

-=JM=-
03-10-2002, 10:21 AM
nice one Mike :D

and did you manage to get that handout, I hear Larry is looking for investments ;)

Mike
03-10-2002, 03:19 PM
I actually went to see his yacht (hence I now know the name of it) yesterday while I was in Auckland... it's a beauty!

But I didn't see Larry :( I kept an eye out for him, prepared to yell out his name when I saw him (hoping he'd let me have a tour)... but no :(

Mike.

Mike
03-10-2002, 06:58 PM
Here it is - http://www.nzherald.co.nz/pics/ACFYCAsqa4Dq.jpg]The Katana[/url]. I want it :) apparently it's one of the 30 biggest superyachts in the world (number 26 I think).

Mike.

Brendonny
03-10-2002, 07:05 PM
that joke is lame!!! I have heard tha joke soo many times cos' I work at a vet clinic.

Heather P
03-10-2002, 07:25 PM
But Mike,

Just think of the problems PARKING it!

Mike
03-10-2002, 08:39 PM
IF I could afford to own it, I could definitely afford to park it :D

Mike.

godfather
03-10-2002, 08:56 PM
Mike, loved the joke.
And if you could afford the boat, you could afford someone to park it for you.

Susan B
03-10-2002, 09:21 PM
>>>Here it is - The Katana. I want it apparently it's one of the 30 biggest superyachts in the world (number 26 I think).


<drool> I'd be quite happy to permanently live on that, thank you very much. I don't get seasick.

Parking problems Heather? What parking problems? It's got an anchor, and I can swim. Or row the puff-up boat. On the other hand the puff-up boat would probably have an outboard bigger than our one.

Imagine the PCs on board that thing.

<sighs and goes back to dreaming>

Susan B
03-10-2002, 09:30 PM
And here's another vet joke that everyone's probably already seen before (dedicated to you Brendonny :D):


A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. As he lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away."

"What?" protested the man hysterically. "How can you tell? You haven't done any testing on him or anything. I want another opinion!"

With that, the vet turned and left the room. In a few moments, he returned with a Labrador Retriever. The Labrador went right to work, sniffing around all over and prodding the poor dead dog with his paws.

After a considerable amount of sniffing and prodding, the Labrador sadly shook his head and said "Woof."

The veterinarian then took the Labrador out and returned in a few moments with a cat, who also checked out the poor dog on the table. As had his predecessors, the cat sadly shook his head and said, "Meow". He then jumped off the table and ran out of the room.

The veterinarian then handed the man a bill for $600. The dog's owner went postal. "$600! Just to tell me my dog is dead? This is outrageous!"

The vet shook his head sadly and explained. "Well, if you had taken my word for it that your dog was dead, it would have been just $50, but with the lab work and the cat scan..."

-=JM=-
03-10-2002, 10:57 PM
> Here it is - http://www.nzherald.co.nz/pics/ACFYCAsqa4Dq.jpg]The
> Katana[/url]. I want it :) apparently it's one of
> the 30 biggest superyachts in the world (number 26 I
> think).
>
> Mike.

hmmm but where was it built. NZ makes the best ones ;)

Mike
03-10-2002, 11:16 PM
> >>>Here it is - The Katana. I want it apparently
> it's one of the 30 biggest superyachts in the world
> (number 26 I think).
>
> I don't get seasick.

I've heard that before... from me :D but Susan, have you spent 6 months at sea on an ocean-going vessel (about the size of the Katana to just clarify)? Well I have, and there were a few times (about 4 or 5 I think) that boy did I get seasick :( and now whenever I hear someone say that, I have to ask "how do you know?" :D

> Parking problems Heather? What parking problems? It's
> got an anchor, and I can swim. Or row the puff-up
> boat. On the other hand the puff-up boat would
> probably have an outboard bigger than our one.

It actually has 2 8.5 metre runabouts (and gorgeous they are! both powered by twin inboard engines), 2x jetskis, and 4x sea-kayaks :)

> Imagine the PCs on board that thing.

don't need to imagine...

> <sighs and goes back to dreaming>

<sighs and goes back to figuring out how to steal the Katana>

Mike.

Susan B
03-10-2002, 11:27 PM
>>>but Susan, have you spent 6 months at sea on an ocean-going vessel (about the size of the Katana to just clarify)?

No, not six months but six weeks. And it wasn't much bigger than the Katana.


>>>It actually has 2 8.5 metre runabouts (and gorgeous they are! both powered by twin inboard engines),

Well that is definitely bigger than ours! :O


>>>2x jetskis, and 4x sea-kayaks

I'm in!! :D


>>><sighs and goes back to figuring out how to steal the Katana>

And when you do, make sure you let me know, won't you? ;-)

Mike
03-10-2002, 11:33 PM
> >>>but Susan, have you spent 6 months at sea on an
> ocean-going vessel (about the size of the Katana to
> just clarify)?
>
> No, not six months but six weeks. And it wasn't much
> bigger than the Katana.

believe me, 6 months is long enough to discover you really do get seasick. this guy I know (was crew on the ship I was on) sent me an email the other day saying that for the first time, after crewing ships for a few years, he realised what it was like to get seasick, and he says he'll never make fun of anyone seasick again :)

> >>>It actually has 2 8.5 metre runabouts (and
> gorgeous they are! both powered by twin inboard
> engines),
>
> Well that is definitely bigger than ours! :O

I don't even have one :(

> >>><sighs and goes back to figuring out how to steal
> the Katana>
>
> And when you do, make sure you let me know, won't
> you? ;-)

of course <lies>

Mike.

Susan B
03-10-2002, 11:51 PM
>>>he realised what it was like to get seasick, and he says he'll never make fun of anyone seasick again

I don't make fun of anyone getting seasick because it usually means that my day is spoilt as well when they are sick.


>>>of course <lies>

You're not very nice. :-(


Hey JM: congratulations on FINALLY reaching your first tonne!!! :D

Mike
04-10-2002, 12:01 AM
> >>>he realised what it was like to get seasick, and
> he says he'll never make fun of anyone seasick again
>
> I don't make fun of anyone getting seasick because it
> usually means that my day is spoilt as well when they
> are sick.

well I challenge you to go out on a small ship (not a cruise ship) for 6 months in the Pacific Ocean and not get seasick :)

> >>>of course <lies>
>
> You're not very nice. :-(

I'm very nice actually :) but I'm sure that if you were given a $200,000,000 boat you wouldn't want to share it with computer geeks :D

> Hey JM: congratulations on FINALLY reaching your
> first tonne!!! :D

you seem to have slowed since you reached yours, Susan.

Mike.

SoniKalien
04-10-2002, 01:22 AM
>Hey JM: congratulations on FINALLY reaching your first tonne!!!

SusanB: Traditionally, a tonne is 100. A kilo however is a thousand..

-=JM=-
04-10-2002, 01:23 AM
Thanks Susan and Mike. :)

I'm in on the stea.............. err having a look around Larry's boat as well.

Susan B
04-10-2002, 09:22 AM
>>>SusanB: Traditionally, a tonne is 100. A kilo however is a thousand..

No, a ton may be traditionally 100 but it depends on your context. Talking about "doing a ton" in a car or motorbike means doing 100 (miles per hour). But a metric tonne is 1000kg.

It's interesting how the US measure their tons: (http://bioenergy.ornl.gov/papers/misc/energy_conv.html)
* 1.0 U.S. ton (short ton) = 2000 pounds
* 1.0 imperial ton (long ton or shipping ton) = 2240 pounds
* 1.0 metric tonne (tonne) = 1000 kilograms = 2205 pounds


Mike:
>>>...if you were given a $200,000,000 boat you wouldn't want to share it with computer geeks

Why not? They are the best company. Anyway, Larry's yacht is so big we can both live on it and never see each other if that's how you want it. Or I'll promise not to talk about geeky stuff. And anyway, you weren't talking about being given the yacht.... ;-)


>>>you seem to have slowed since you reached yours, Susan.

Yes, well I thought I would let you catch up a bit (400 posts in 3 weeks!!) but now since you won't share Larry's yacht with me I'll put my hoof back down again. :D

goes off to find all those jokes to post

Mike
04-10-2002, 09:44 AM
>>>...if you were given a $200,000,000 boat you
>>> wouldn't want to share it with computer geeks

> Why not? They are the best company. Anyway, Larry's
> yacht is so big we can both live on it and never see
> each other if that's how you want it. Or I'll promise
> not to talk about geeky stuff. And anyway, you
> weren't talking about being given the
> yacht.... ;-)

It may be a big yacht, but it's only got 6 bedrooms (in a yacht that big, and only 6 bedrooms, just think how big the rooms must be! :D LOL actually it's got 7... there's 1 crew quarters for the 20 crew... maybe I could put you in there LOL :P

Anyway, my plan is to be given the yacht... I will only "borrow" it if plan A doesn't work ;)

> >>>you seem to have slowed since you reached yours,
> Susan.
>
> Yes, well I thought I would let you catch up a bit
> (400 posts in 3 weeks!!) but now since you won't
> share Larry's yacht with me I'll put my hoof back
> down again. :D

My count is actually closer to 500 - I think I had 470 when you reached your tonne

> goes off to find all those jokes to post

good luck :) I get jokes in my inbox every day

Mike.