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tweak\'e
23-06-2002, 12:53 PM
>"I'M GOING FISHING"
>Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a
>stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete
>safety."
>
>"IT'S A GUY THING"
>Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you
>have no chance at all of making it logical".
>
>"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
>Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
>
>"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
>Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
>
>"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
>Means: "I have no idea how it works."
>
>"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
>Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
>
>"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
>Means: "Are you still talking?"
>
>"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
>Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first
>girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car
>I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
>
>"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
>Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I
>admit that I'm hurt."
>
>"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
>Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
>
>"I CAN'T FIND IT."
>Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely
>clueless."
>
>"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
>Means: "What did you catch me at?"
>
>"I HEARD YOU."
>"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping
>desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the
>next 3 days yelling at me."
>
>"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
>Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be
>worse."
>
>"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
>Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
>
>"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
>Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."
>
>"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
>Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up.
>

-=JM=-
23-06-2002, 02:30 PM
very good.

NathanTheKind
23-06-2002, 03:13 PM
lol :^O

That's quite good. Where did you find that??

For all you women out there, We arn't all that bad
;\

tweak\'e
23-06-2002, 04:08 PM
thx go to hunter at ozquake.com for those funnies

NathanTheKind
23-06-2002, 05:38 PM
Cool Thanks

:)

Susan B
23-06-2002, 06:40 PM
ROFLMAO Good one tweak'e!

> For all you women out there, We arn't all that
> bad

Oh yes you are, that is exactly how the male brain works! :D

My favourite is:

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"

:D

godfather
23-06-2002, 06:53 PM
At least the male has a brain..

Did you hear about the blonde that go tired of being the subject of dumb blonde jokes,

She decided to dye her hair red and buy a little sports car.
Life was suddenly great, and everyone took her seriously
She decided to enjoy this life and went for a drive in the country
She came upon a rural scene with lots of lambs in the paddock, so stopped to take it all in
The farmer was at the roadside, having just tallied the sheep numbers
The girl said "Ooh look at all the sheep"
The farmer said "If you guess how many there are in this paddock you can take a sheep with you"
She looked and surveyed the paddock quickly, and replied "452"
The farmer was taken aback, he said "Thats amazing, you are exactly right"
The girl hopped into the paddock, grabbed her prize and put it in the car.
The farmer went over to her and said "you are really a blonde in real life aren't you?"
The girl was astounded, saying "however did you guess?"
The farmer said "Give me my dog back and I will tell you..."

NathanTheKind
23-06-2002, 06:59 PM
I have heard that one before. But it is still good.

:D

NathanTheKind
23-06-2002, 07:03 PM
Now you are a female. So now how would you know how a males brain works.

And don't tell me you read it in book, or saw it on tv or the net.

Now of course if you were to say, ;\ 'my Friends, sisters, husbands, mothers, daughter told me', then that I might believe.

lol :^O

:D :D

Susan B
23-06-2002, 07:15 PM
Nathan, I have a father, a brother, a husband and a son.

Now ask me again how do I know how the male brain works. :D


godfather, one just for you: ;-)

A man walks into a 2nd hand body parts shop, "How much do you charge for a brain?" he asked the assistant.
"Male brains are $50 and female ones are $30." she replied.
"Why are they different prices?" queried the man.
"Female brains are cheaper because they've been used," she said.

Susan B
23-06-2002, 07:25 PM
I like this one:

The Perfect Husband

There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings.
One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:
"Hello?"
"Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
"Yes."
"Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"
"What's the price?"
"Only $1,500.00."
"Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..."
"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price...and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..."
"What price did he quote you?"
"Only $60,000..."
"OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
"Great! But before we hang up, something else..."
"What?"
"It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and...I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property..."
"How much are they asking?"
"Only $450,000 - a magnificent price...and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..."
"Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?"
"OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
"Bye...I do too..."
The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap, and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present:
"Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

:D :D :D

godfather
23-06-2002, 08:05 PM
Thanks Susan, I think the phone was mine.......

-=JM=-
23-06-2002, 08:31 PM
Nice one Susan.