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View Full Version : How do you stop a stalker?



Ninjabear
13-04-2011, 08:28 PM
My friend's ex has seperated with her boyfriend about a year now but he still knows what she does, who shes meeting, what she does during the day etc.It's becoming a nuisance texting her etc and when she ignores the text messages he goes over to check up on her etc.

He's like stalking her.

He's a international student too and he's been failing uni for the last 6 years?

So.. is going to police the right way to go?

DeSade
13-04-2011, 08:33 PM
Call immigration, have him deported. Much cleaner than the cops who won't do ****.

beetle
13-04-2011, 08:43 PM
new number for her phone? move house?

so he's got too much money and time to spend bothering her? if you know this info about him, then he is easily finding info about her....

have you thought of contacting uni? if he is failing......... he shouldnt be there... let alone there that long...

do you know how he is getting this info?
oh and write down times, dates, etc, document it where you can and contact police for help.

:confused:
beetle

Cato
13-04-2011, 08:55 PM
My friend's ex has seperated with her boyfriend about a year now but he still knows what she does, who shes meeting, what she does during the day etc.It's becoming a nuisance texting her etc and when she ignores the text messages he goes over to check up on her etc.

He's like stalking her.

He's a international student too and he's been failing uni for the last 6 years?

So.. is going to police the right way to go?


Tell her to get off facebook & bebo. Go see the cops. Get a restraining order.
Get his ass deported.

Edit: Also where's that little creep from?

inphinity
13-04-2011, 09:01 PM
Restraining order. Punch to the face. Either or.

qazwsxokmijn
13-04-2011, 09:57 PM
What a creep. Is she making it clear to him that it's over?

Had one of these creeps do this to a friend of mine recently. She made it clear that they weren't together anymore, but he kept insisting on just being right down stalker-ish. So another friend and I confronted him next time he showed up uninvited. He hasn't bothered her since.

Ninjabear
13-04-2011, 10:14 PM
Hes from Singapore apparently.

She has made it clear long ago but he keeps coming back to her. Creepy,

Ninjabear
13-04-2011, 10:15 PM
new number for her phone? move house?

so he's got too much money and time to spend bothering her? if you know this info about him, then he is easily finding info about her....

have you thought of contacting uni? if he is failing......... he shouldnt be there... let alone there that long...

do you know how he is getting this info?
oh and write down times, dates, etc, document it where you can and contact police for help.

:confused:
beetle

I thought as long as uni receives money they don't kick you out of uni?

Cato
13-04-2011, 10:22 PM
I thought as long as uni receives money they don't kick you out of uni?

This applies to them not for us. Most universities/tertiary providers will be rid of us if we fail more than 50% of papers in a given year.

Internationals bring in a lot of money (25k vs 4k for us), I know a guy who also failed 5 years now still in his "second year" at Uni cause he brings in foreign cash.

qazwsxokmijn
13-04-2011, 10:32 PM
Seriously, if you aren't too big of a guy, get a gym-going big guy and confront him. That will send him the message.

Snorkbox
13-04-2011, 10:54 PM
Are you worried about your friend or yourself? Are you the new boyfriend?
None of my business either for that matter.

ubergeek85
13-04-2011, 11:38 PM
Contact police, see about getting a restraining order.

bob_doe_nz
14-04-2011, 12:25 AM
Seriously, if you aren't too big of a guy, get a gym-going big guy and confront him. That will send him the message.

Yes. This. Hire a bouncer or two or maybe a couple of beefy looking Maori guys. Especially if they have mokos.

Asians a soooo scared of them.

gary67
14-04-2011, 09:09 AM
Ask Prefect to come round and shoot him

pcuser42
14-04-2011, 09:20 AM
Get Metla onto him :lol:

prefect
14-04-2011, 10:21 AM
Ring up the Singapore Charge de affairs and give him the Stalkers name and what he has done.
I think you will find they will sort it out.

Gobe1
14-04-2011, 10:44 AM
Im with qazwsxokmijn and Bob_doe

qazwsxokmijn
14-04-2011, 12:45 PM
Get Metla onto him :lol:
That's actually a pretty sensible idea. :D

Paul.Cov
14-04-2011, 03:16 PM
A knee to the groin should make him reassess his directions.

pcuser42
14-04-2011, 03:36 PM
A knee to the groin should make him reassess his directions.

So how would you stop a female stalker :p

Cato
14-04-2011, 03:49 PM
So how would you stop a female stalker :p

Be terrible in bed?

dugimodo
14-04-2011, 04:08 PM
Seriously guys recommending violence and threats is how this stuff ends up in the papers, I wouldn't consider it sensible at all and only something to be used as a last resort.

First make it clear again that she want's nothing further to do with him and that if he continues you will be forced to go to the authorities. If that doesn't work start looking into official channels, a restraining order or a "friendly" visit from the police could work wonders. If not at least you tried doing it the right way before going down other paths.

Also changing phone numbers and ignoring him as much as possible might work.

Bobh
14-04-2011, 04:11 PM
Contact police, see about getting a restraining order.

There is nothing worse than knowing every move you make is being watched. The perpetrator is the person who needs help to stop his behaviour and not the person being watched.

Ideally police intervention would be best. Taking the law into your own hands is not the best way to go. It is very easy to overreact and find yourself in trouble with the law.

Gobe1
14-04-2011, 04:12 PM
Seriously guys recommending violence and threats is how this stuff ends up in the papers, I wouldn't consider it sensible at all and only something to be used as a last resort.

First make it clear again that she want's nothing further to do with him and that if he continues you will be forced to go to the authorities. If that doesn't work start looking into official channels, a restraining order or a "friendly" visit from the police could work wonders. If not at least you tried doing it the right way before going down other paths.

Also changing phone numbers and ignoring him as much as possible might work.

Trouble is waiting for this is also how it ends up in the papers. I wasnt condoning violence, only the threat

Cato
14-04-2011, 04:14 PM
Also changing phone numbers and ignoring him as much as possible might work.

Yes, live in fear change your number. If that doesn't work maybe move houses?

NO. You don't live in fear of some asswipes terrorizing you. You go to the police, and put in a complaint and if possible restraining order.

If that does not work and he enters your property, then violence would be most appropriate.

Gobe1
14-04-2011, 04:15 PM
I guess a complaint will help if it goes beyond stalking.....

EDIT: at least that way they will have a first suspect

qazwsxokmijn
14-04-2011, 04:16 PM
Seriously guys recommending violence and threats is how this stuff ends up in the papers, I wouldn't consider it sensible at all and only something to be used as a last resort.

First make it clear again that she want's nothing further to do with him and that if he continues you will be forced to go to the authorities. If that doesn't work start looking into official channels, a restraining order or a "friendly" visit from the police could work wonders. If not at least you tried doing it the right way before going down other paths.

Also changing phone numbers and ignoring him as much as possible might work.
The way my friend and I did it had no violence at all, nor threats. It did help however that this friend of mine is actually a 90kg weightlifter. We just told him his uninvited advances are making her uncomfortable, and that we'd appreciate him to stop making any further contacts with her.

Ninjabear
14-04-2011, 04:29 PM
Im not her new boyfriend lol so yea.

I've passed the message on to her sister I guess we will see what will happen later in the week.

My friend doesn't have much faith with the police tbh.
He's large and fat lol so yea hard to inflict pain on someone who's that size.

plod
14-04-2011, 05:04 PM
Im not her new boyfriend lol so yea.

I've passed the message on to her sister I guess we will see what will happen later in the week.

My friend doesn't have much faith with the police tbh.
He's large and fat lol so yea hard to inflict pain on someone who's that size.

Make him run, thats always good punishment for a large fat man

dugimodo
14-04-2011, 05:08 PM
There were some people suggesting getting physical, even if they weren't entirely serious. And I am not suggesting living in fear, simply that if he doesn't have the phone number he can't text her. It may help get the message across.

But mostly if either her or a friend can't convince him to back off (without getting physical) then it's time to talk to the police, even if they can't help they should be able to tell you what you can do about it.

If she is feeling afraid or threatened and not simply annoyed then she shouldn't wait but do something now.

bob_doe_nz
14-04-2011, 07:09 PM
There were some people suggesting getting physical, even if they weren't entirely serious.

I'm not. Just intimidation.